Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Poison. . .

comes in all forms. Sometimes it's environmental and leads to sickness, but most of the time it is not. Most of the time poison is a mental pill that you swallow little by little...until your body gets to a toxic point. That's where I'm at right now. This is not to say that I am depressed, although I certainly don't have the energy to be social. This is not to say that I feel as though I'm falling away from my walk with the Lord...I actually think it's getting better.

But I am poisoned.

My little mental poison pills have come in many different forms over the last couple months. Most of it comes from fighting...not like a yelling and screaming type fighting...more like an I'm not going to take any more of this bullsh*t fighting. Advocating for your children is probably the single most difficult task I've ever wanted to under take. I feel like I'm in the middle of several different battles. The beginning of last school year it was not a battle, it was a gently guided attempt to share with a new teacher E's best ways of learning and adapting. That turned into the teacher retaliating in a DRASTIC form that was illegal and caused us great emotional distress. As I'm performing my own investigation (and the school district does nothing) I continue to find out more and more how evil this teacher was. I'm trying desperately to protect my family and child and not give in to the very worldly desire for revenge that I often deeply desire. Now I'm faced with advocating for my youngest child. I'm also battling with a major corporation....all of these are for my children. How does a mom protect her children AND deal with the poison in the world?

I'm thankful that I have the ultimate Antidote, but I'M also wondering at what point I give in(up?) and let them have their way....but what about my kids? and the kids that come after mine? Ugh!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

E's Struggle....I LOVE this article!

Below is a story put out in the May 2010 D Medical Directory published by D Magazine about E. I absolutely LOVE the story...I just wish I could get an URL for it...but for now you'll have to click on the pictures and zoom in, Sorry!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Where I Stand….

I wrote out this list on the eve of my 30th Birthday and added to it a little over the last couple of years. Originally my goal was to have all 40 chosen by my 30th birthday, but I have decided to leave room to add things because 10 years is a long time! I have decided to post a status report…mainly for my benefit…the blue are my recent comments. I should be averaging 3-4 per year so I have a little catching up and revising to do!

40 Before 40

  1. Ride in a hot air ballon (I was supposed to ride in one with my friend Erin when I was in 1st grade and for some reason couldn't...I don't remember why, but ever since then I've wanted to ride in one.) – Still haven't done that, but I'm thinking of removing it because I've developed an insane fear of heights over the last couple of years….I have a hard time walking on the second floor of the mall!
  2. Finish college – I've completed about 95 hours, so I may get there.
  3. Learn how to fold a fitted sheet. – I'm making progress…I don't roll them up in a ball anymore, I at least make an attempt!
  4. Eat at a famous chef's restaurant - Done! Tim and I ate at Tom Collichio's (Top Chef Judge) Craft restaurant and it was AMAZING!!
  5. Start a monthly "Family Dinner Nite" and stick to it
    Since all of my extended family has moved away (except for my parents) this is kind of impossible…but we did have one dinner with EVERYONE in attendance last summer…I think that's as close to a check as I will get and I'll take it because it was very enjoyable.
  6. Take a photography class – I almost forgot about this one.
  7. Read through the entire Bible – not even close…that sucks!
  8. Go to Las Vegas – nope, not yet…was thinking about it for our second wedding, but that didn't happen.
  9. Make homemade pasta – nope…I really don't feel like messing up the kitchen that much!
  10. Get a full body massage
    (the only reason I haven't done this yet is because I know I will enjoy it too much and I'm not going to pay for it on a regular basis!)- My bro and SIL got me one and my SIL took me for my second bachelorette night!
  11. Get a will in place. – Hope to this year.
  12. Get down to my pre-pregnancy weight (I'll fill you in on exactly what that is when I hit it, but I have a good ways to go!) – Unfortunately I've gone in the opposite direction – ugh!!
  13. Start a ministry for parents of children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit – I've decided that this one is actually going to be removed, because I just don't feel like I can do this the right way until the kids are older.
  14. Take the kids (P & J) to Disney World
    (I've already made reservations for October!) – We had so much fun!

  15. Learn how to make the perfect cheesecake. – I have a pumpkin cheesecake down pretty good…maybe I'll count that…
  16. Watch Gone With the Wind and Casablance
    (no, I have never seen either of these movies) - Nope

  17. Pay off all my credit card debt – Getting close thanks to Dave Ramsey!
  18. Go to New York – Not even on the radar yet.
  19. See a Broadway show (tied in with #18)
  20. See the Rockettes (tied in with #18)
  21. Go to Italy– Not even on the radar yet.
  22. Drive Route 66– Not even on the radar yet.
  23. Ride a motorcycle – I think I'm starting to chicken out on this one.
  24. Learn how to golf – Really??? Why??? Hmm…
  25. Go on a cruise – Ok, not sure what I was thinking…I get majorly sea sick!
  26. Catch a fish (I've gone fishing a few times and have yet to catch a fish) – Not yet…and I've even been fishing since I made the list.
  27. Go to a drive-in movie – Nope, but I've scoped one out that is a posibility
  28. Learn how to make sushi – Nope…and remind me not to take lessons from Mark & Kristy!
  29. Family trip to Colorado – There have been discussions
  30. Learn how to cut an onion (I'm really good at cooking, but I've never managed to figure out the "proper" way to cut an onion) – I'm making progress…dad even bought me a fancy knife!
  31. Go to a hockey game (I'm not that into hockey, but I've always thought that a hockey game would be entertaining)
  32. Take the kids to Nevada to see where I was born Not even on the radar yet.

  33. Finish painting the inside of my house I absolutely HATE white walls, but I HATE painting even more! – We have the Master bedroom and bathroom left and that's it…I'm hoping to have it done before the summer starts…or maybe ends! J
  34. More to come...

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Type A++ Personality & Brick Walls

All those that know me know that I am very much a "Type A" personality (truth be told, more like A++++). I have always been a planner, to the extreme. I have always thought that it would be great to have a glimpse at the future so I can plan appropriately. This type of thinking tends to get me into trouble, leaving little room to witness God's grace and faithfulness...sometimes God let's me go about thinking I can plan for all the little and big things of life (insert an image of a VERY large hand patting a very small person on the and saying something to the effect of "ok, go ahead and try to do it your way"). And sometimes God just puts one big brick wall right in front of my well planned out path...and at times he puts two, three, four or five brick walls in front of me. I'm hoping that we've had enough brick walls for awhile.

The first brick wall was in June, E (my middle son) had to undergo emergency brain surgery to repair a broken shunt. This situation is compounded E's autism and other issues which makes hospital stays and recovery extremely difficult, especially in a situation where a normal after-surgery infection could easily pass to his brain. A week off of work and closely monitoring his condition was about all that was necessary.

Brick wall #2 was just two weeks later, dad's diagnosis with prostate cancer. Brick wall #3 was one week later and came in the form of an emergency room visit with E because he was beginning to reopen his incisions from his surgery. The very next day brick wall #4 was a call from my dad saying that his stress test revealed that he had to have a couple stents placed in his heart. Brick wall #4 was five days later when my mom, brother, SIL and I sat in the hospital waiting room listening to dad's cardiologist tell us that the stents were no longer an option and dad would need bypass surgery. Brick wall #5 was sitting in that same hospital four days later with all the same parties, plus one brother and the hubby listening to the dr say that the bypass surgery would not take place as dad's platlets were not clotting. Finally a week later by brother, mom and I were back at the same hospital and were fortunate enough to hear the doctor say that dad's triple bypass went very well. That was six weeks ago yesterday. Since then dad has spent several painful weeks recovering. Thankfully he was able to return to work two weeks ago and will be able to start radiation next week (which had to be put on hold until the heart problems were under control). Brick wall #5 was two weeks ago when mom became very sick. After two weeks of severe pain, mom was admitted to the hospital last week. Tests revealed that mom has an autoimmune disease that attacks her colon. This is something that she will have for the rest of her life and will have periods of remission and then some painful periods of "active" disease that will require a lot of steroids and possibly hospital visits.

Fortunately our family serves a mighty God. A God that knows every fiber of our being inside and out. God knew that, despite my Type A personality, there was no physical way that I (or the rest of my family) could handle the last four months on our own. God knew that I would have not been able to function one bit had I had a glimpse of this future...of the brick walls that would be placed in our path. I am quite certain that I will remain a Type A personality, after all I am only human. And with that personality will remain the schedules placed on the fridge rounded to the nearest five minutes; the color-coded checklists in the bathroom of the "getting ready for school routine"; the alphabetized spice cabinet, the inboxes for the children and the entire laundry system that puts Martha Stewert to shame, I will remember that there is only one thing that I know about my future...I will one day be fortunate enough to worship the awesome God that we serve in heaven with all of my family, in the end that's all that matters.

And because of that mighty God...I have a lot of scrap bricks from the walls that have been destroyed.

....actually I do have a lot of bricks...for real...if anyone is interested...about 300 red and black ones from when our house was built that I'd really like to get rid of!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Big and Scary Things....

Yes, it's been awhile, but Jenny has encouraged me to post and I guess her comment is at a time when I feel as though I'm absolutely ready to burst! I've never been a very private person, I'm the type that just throws it all out there....this is me take it or leave it kind of girl. Over the last two months our family has been through A LOT! I've wanted to so desperately post....but I've been struggling. I want to respect the privacy of my family, yet I am that "lay it all out there" person. I've been examining my reasons for being so "out there". Part of me thinks it's a way to get attention...I know....there are many of you out there right now that know me well and are gasping at that statement (yeah right!). I also think that some of it is to seek prayer and to find commonalities in other people's life experiences.

So, in an the interest of protecting those I love, I'm not going to say anything at the moment...although I do plan on saying something stay tuned. Just keep my family in your prayers tomorrow and in the weeks to come....there are some big and scary things afoot!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Kristi is praising God...

that her husband was not the one out of the eight in his department laid off today!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Kristi is excited about her mental health day today!

Everyone needs a mental health day! On the to-do list today: renew E's disabled parking permit; fall clothes shopping for the boys; Sam Moon!!!; and early voting (it starts today, every one needs to go vote!).