All those that know me know that I am very much a "Type A" personality (truth be told, more like A++++). I have always been a planner, to the extreme. I have always thought that it would be great to have a glimpse at the future so I can plan appropriately. This type of thinking tends to get me into trouble, leaving little room to witness God's grace and faithfulness...sometimes God let's me go about thinking I can plan for all the little and big things of life (insert an image of a VERY large hand patting a very small person on the he.ad and saying something to the effect of "ok, go ahead and try to do it your way"). And sometimes God just puts one big brick wall right in front of my well planned out path...and at times he puts two, three, four or five brick walls in front of me. I'm hoping that we've had enough brick walls for awhile.
The first brick wall was in June, E (my middle son) had to undergo emergency brain surgery to repair a broken shunt. This situation is compounded E's autism and other issues which makes hospital stays and recovery extremely difficult, especially in a situation where a normal after-surgery infection could easily pass to his brain. A week off of work and closely monitoring his condition was about all that was necessary.
Brick wall #2 was just two weeks later, dad's diagnosis with prostate cancer. Brick wall #3 was one week later and came in the form of an emergency room visit with E because he was beginning to reopen his incisions from his surgery. The very next day brick wall #4 was a call from my dad saying that his stress test revealed that he had to have a couple stents placed in his heart. Brick wall #4 was five days later when my mom, brother, SIL and I sat in the hospital waiting room listening to dad's cardiologist tell us that the stents were no longer an option and dad would need bypass surgery. Brick wall #5 was sitting in that same hospital four days later with all the same parties, plus one brother and the hubby listening to the dr say that the bypass surgery would not take place as dad's platlets were not clotting. Finally a week later by brother, mom and I were back at the same hospital and were fortunate enough to hear the doctor say that dad's triple bypass went very well. That was six weeks ago yesterday. Since then dad has spent several painful weeks recovering. Thankfully he was able to return to work two weeks ago and will be able to start radiation next week (which had to be put on hold until the heart problems were under control). Brick wall #5 was two weeks ago when mom became very sick. After two weeks of severe pain, mom was admitted to the hospital last week. Tests revealed that mom has an autoimmune disease that attacks her colon. This is something that she will have for the rest of her life and will have periods of remission and then some painful periods of "active" disease that will require a lot of steroids and possibly hospital visits.
Fortunately our family serves a mighty God. A God that knows every fiber of our being inside and out. God knew that, despite my Type A personality, there was no physical way that I (or the rest of my family) could handle the last four months on our own. God knew that I would have not been able to function one bit had I had a glimpse of this future...of the brick walls that would be placed in our path. I am quite certain that I will remain a Type A personality, after all I am only human. And with that personality will remain the schedules placed on the fridge rounded to the nearest five minutes; the color-coded checklists in the bathroom of the "getting ready for school routine"; the alphabetized spice cabinet, the inboxes for the children and the entire laundry system that puts Martha Stewert to shame, I will remember that there is only one thing that I know about my future...I will one day be fortunate enough to worship the awesome God that we serve in heaven with all of my family, in the end that's all that matters.
And because of that mighty God...I have a lot of scrap bricks from the walls that have been destroyed.
....actually I do have a lot of bricks...for real...if anyone is interested...about 300 red and black ones from when our house was built that I'd really like to get rid of!
