My Life Examined

Poison. . .

2010-10-06T16:56:00.002-05:00

comes in all forms. Sometimes it's environmental and leads to sickness, but most of the time it is not. Most of the time poison is a mental pill that you swallow little by little...until your body gets to a toxic point. That's where I'm at right now. This is not to say that I am depressed, although I certainly don't have the energy to be social. This is not to say that I feel as though I'm falling away from my walk with the Lord...I actually think it's getting better.

But I am poisoned.

My little mental poison pills have come in many different forms over the last couple months. Most of it comes from fighting...not like a yelling and screaming type fighting...more like an I'm not going to take any more of this bullsh*t fighting. Advocating for your children is probably the single most difficult task I've ever wanted to under take. I feel like I'm in the middle of several different battles. The beginning of last school year it was not a battle, it was a gently guided attempt to share with a new teacher E's best ways of learning and adapting. That turned into the teacher retaliating in a DRASTIC form that was illegal and caused us great emotional distress. As I'm performing my own investigation (and the school district does nothing) I continue to find out more and more how evil this teacher was. I'm trying desperately to protect my family and child and not give in to the very worldly desire for revenge that I often deeply desire. Now I'm faced with advocating for my youngest child. I'm also battling with a major corporation....all of these are for my children. How does a mom protect her children AND deal with the poison in the world?

I'm thankful that I have the ultimate Antidote, but I'M also wondering at what point I give in(up?) and let them have their way....but what about my kids? and the kids that come after mine? Ugh!

E's Struggle....I LOVE this article!

2010-05-20T16:25:00.001-05:00

Below is a story put out in the May 2010 D Medical Directory published by D Magazine about E. I absolutely LOVE the story...I just wish I could get an URL for it...but for now you'll have to click on the pictures and zoom in, Sorry!

Where I Stand….

2010-03-29T18:31:00.000-05:00

I wrote out this list on the eve of my 30th Birthday and added to it a little over the last couple of years. Originally my goal was to have all 40 chosen by my 30th birthday, but I have decided to leave room to add things because 10 years is a long time! I have decided to post a status report…mainly for my benefit…the blue are my recent comments. I should be averaging 3-4 per year so I have a little catching up and revising to do!

40 Before 40

Ride in a hot air ballon (I was supposed to ride in one with my friend Erin when I was in 1st grade and for some reason couldn't...I don't remember why, but ever since then I've wanted to ride in one.) – Still haven't done that, but I'm thinking of removing it because I've developed an insane fear of heights over the last couple of years….I have a hard time walking on the second floor of the mall!
Finish college – I've completed about 95 hours, so I may get there.
Learn how to fold a fitted sheet. – I'm making progress…I don't roll them up in a ball anymore, I at least make an attempt!
Eat at a famous chef's restaurant - Done! Tim and I ate at Tom Collichio's (Top Chef Judge) Craft restaurant and it was AMAZING!!
Start a monthly "Family Dinner Nite" and stick to it
–Since all of my extended family has moved away (except for my parents) this is kind of impossible…but we did have one dinner with EVERYONE in attendance last summer…I think that's as close to a check as I will get and I'll take it because it was very enjoyable.
Take a photography class – I almost forgot about this one.
Read through the entire Bible – not even close…that sucks!
Go to Las Vegas – nope, not yet…was thinking about it for our second wedding, but that didn't happen.
Make homemade pasta – nope…I really don't feel like messing up the kitchen that much!
Get a full body massage
(the only reason I haven't done this yet is because I know I will enjoy it too much and I'm not going to pay for it on a regular basis!)- My bro and SIL got me one and my SIL took me for my second bachelorette night!
Get a will in place. – Hope to this year.
Get down to my pre-pregnancy weight (I'll fill you in on exactly what that is when I hit it, but I have a good ways to go!) – Unfortunately I've gone in the opposite direction – ugh!!
Start a ministry for parents of children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit – I've decided that this one is actually going to be removed, because I just don't feel like I can do this the right way until the kids are older.
Take the kids (P & J) to Disney World
(I've already made reservations for October!) – We had so much fun!
Learn how to make the perfect cheesecake. – I have a pumpkin cheesecake down pretty good…maybe I'll count that…
Watch Gone With the Wind and Casablance
(no, I have never seen either of these movies) - Nope
Pay off all my credit card debt – Getting close thanks to Dave Ramsey!
Go to New York – Not even on the radar yet.
See a Broadway show (tied in with #18)
See the Rockettes (tied in with #18)
Go to Italy– Not even on the radar yet.
Drive Route 66– Not even on the radar yet.
Ride a motorcycle – I think I'm starting to chicken out on this one.
Learn how to golf – Really??? Why??? Hmm…
Go on a cruise – Ok, not sure what I was thinking…I get majorly sea sick!
Catch a fish (I've gone fishing a few times and have yet to catch a fish) – Not yet…and I've even been fishing since I made the list.
Go to a drive-in movie – Nope, but I've scoped one out that is a posibility
Learn how to make sushi – Nope…and remind me not to take lessons from Mark & Kristy!
Family trip to Colorado – There have been discussions
Learn how to cut an onion (I'm really good at cooking, but I've never managed to figure out the "proper" way to cut an onion) – I'm making progress…dad even bought me a fancy knife!
Go to a hockey game (I'm not that into hockey, but I've always thought that a hockey game would be entertaining)
Take the kids to Nevada to see where I was born Not even on the radar yet.
Finish painting the inside of my house I absolutely HATE white walls, but I HATE painting even more! – We have the Master bedroom and bathroom left and that's it…I'm hoping to have it done before the summer starts…or maybe ends! J
More to come...

Type A++ Personality & Brick Walls

2009-09-30T18:24:00.004-05:00

All those that know me know that I am very much a "Type A" personality (truth be told, more like A++++). I have always been a planner, to the extreme. I have always thought that it would be great to have a glimpse at the future so I can plan appropriately. This type of thinking tends to get me into trouble, leaving little room to witness God's grace and faithfulness...sometimes God let's me go about thinking I can plan for all the little and big things of life (insert an image of a VERY large hand patting a very small person on the he.ad and saying something to the effect of "ok, go ahead and try to do it your way"). And sometimes God just puts one big brick wall right in front of my well planned out path...and at times he puts two, three, four or five brick walls in front of me. I'm hoping that we've had enough brick walls for awhile.

The first brick wall was in June, E (my middle son) had to undergo emergency brain surgery to repair a broken shunt. This situation is compounded E's autism and other issues which makes hospital stays and recovery extremely difficult, especially in a situation where a normal after-surgery infection could easily pass to his brain. A week off of work and closely monitoring his condition was about all that was necessary.

Brick wall #2 was just two weeks later, dad's diagnosis with prostate cancer. Brick wall #3 was one week later and came in the form of an emergency room visit with E because he was beginning to reopen his incisions from his surgery. The very next day brick wall #4 was a call from my dad saying that his stress test revealed that he had to have a couple stents placed in his heart. Brick wall #4 was five days later when my mom, brother, SIL and I sat in the hospital waiting room listening to dad's cardiologist tell us that the stents were no longer an option and dad would need bypass surgery. Brick wall #5 was sitting in that same hospital four days later with all the same parties, plus one brother and the hubby listening to the dr say that the bypass surgery would not take place as dad's platlets were not clotting. Finally a week later by brother, mom and I were back at the same hospital and were fortunate enough to hear the doctor say that dad's triple bypass went very well. That was six weeks ago yesterday. Since then dad has spent several painful weeks recovering. Thankfully he was able to return to work two weeks ago and will be able to start radiation next week (which had to be put on hold until the heart problems were under control). Brick wall #5 was two weeks ago when mom became very sick. After two weeks of severe pain, mom was admitted to the hospital last week. Tests revealed that mom has an autoimmune disease that attacks her colon. This is something that she will have for the rest of her life and will have periods of remission and then some painful periods of "active" disease that will require a lot of steroids and possibly hospital visits.

Fortunately our family serves a mighty God. A God that knows every fiber of our being inside and out. God knew that, despite my Type A personality, there was no physical way that I (or the rest of my family) could handle the last four months on our own. God knew that I would have not been able to function one bit had I had a glimpse of this future...of the brick walls that would be placed in our path. I am quite certain that I will remain a Type A personality, after all I am only human. And with that personality will remain the schedules placed on the fridge rounded to the nearest five minutes; the color-coded checklists in the bathroom of the "getting ready for school routine"; the alphabetized spice cabinet, the inboxes for the children and the entire laundry system that puts Martha Stewert to shame, I will remember that there is only one thing that I know about my future...I will one day be fortunate enough to worship the awesome God that we serve in heaven with all of my family, in the end that's all that matters.

And because of that mighty God...I have a lot of scrap bricks from the walls that have been destroyed.

....actually I do have a lot of bricks...for real...if anyone is interested...about 300 red and black ones from when our house was built that I'd really like to get rid of!

Big and Scary Things....

2009-08-10T19:47:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's been awhile, but Jenny has encouraged me to post and I guess her comment is at a time when I feel as though I'm absolutely ready to burst! I've never been a very private person, I'm the type that just throws it all out there....this is me take it or leave it kind of girl. Over the last two months our family has been through A LOT! I've wanted to so desperately post....but I've been struggling. I want to respect the privacy of my family, yet I am that "lay it all out there" person. I've been examining my reasons for being so "out there". Part of me thinks it's a way to get attention...I know....there are many of you out there right now that know me well and are gasping at that statement (yeah right!). I also think that some of it is to seek prayer and to find commonalities in other people's life experiences.

So, in an the interest of protecting those I love, I'm not going to say anything at the moment...although I do plan on saying something soon...so stay tuned. Just keep my family in your prayers tomorrow and in the weeks to come....there are some big and scary things afoot!

Kristi is praising God...

2008-11-06T16:27:00.001-06:00

that her husband was not the one out of the eight in his department laid off today!!!

Kristi is excited about her mental health day today!

2008-10-20T07:26:00.002-05:00

Everyone needs a mental health day! On the to-do list today: renew E's disabled parking permit; fall clothes shopping for the boys; Sam Moon!!!; and early voting (it starts today, every one needs to go vote!).

Kristi is...

2008-10-14T15:16:00.000-05:00

enjoying the fact that it's raining out, because I can then at least pretend that it is fall by looking out the window!

Why I like Facebook....

2008-10-10T13:55:00.002-05:00

because I can write a short sentence snip-it and feel like I've communicated enough for the day. That's what I'm going to try doing with my blog from now on...maybe then I will post more.

So here goes...

Kristi is smiling at the thought of fall coming and being able to enjoy football games in the crisp, fall weather. There is absolutely nothing better!

Funny Things Kids Say....

2008-08-05T08:36:00.001-05:00

So I'm home from work sick today with J. I'm trying to get some work done on the computer and J is watching the intro scene of Top Gun...this has become a favorite for him as he pretends with his jets (don't worry...we only let him watch the jet scenes). Anyways, this morning he's watching and I'm working on my computer when I hear him repeat...."Oh sh!t! There's two of them!" So I explain to him that sh!t is a bad word and we don't say bad words....that in itself was funny. But them a few minutes later he comes up to me and says "Mom, is 'missile lock' a bad word?" Priceless!

A Great Weekend

2008-07-14T17:57:00.003-05:00

So we got hitched...I'm busy right now trying to make up my cleaning from this weekend so I will post more later. But I will leave you with two photos...

And the Two Shall Become One...

2008-06-23T20:01:00.003-05:00

So there is a reason that my blogs have been spotty at best lately....I've been very busy.

Yes, that's right....I am excited to announce that I am getting married!

I feel so incredibly blessed to have found a very wonderful man. A man who absolutely adores me. A man who can love the kids the way only a father can.

And one of the coolest things about the whole deal...

is....

I don't even have to change my last name!!!

For those of you that are a little on the slow side....my dear ex and I have decided to remarry!

The Lord has really been working in both of our lives the last several months, both apart and together. I truly feel so blessed, and I'm so excited!

On July 12th, after 23 months of seperation and 10 months after a divorce we will commit our lives to each other, a mere 10 years, 3 months and 22 days after the first time that we did it. I am so excited that my dear youth pastor, Dave, is flying down to perform the ceremony a second time...it truly wouldn't seem right without him. He has been such an integral part of my life for so very long that it only seems right that he be there. Once again it will be a family-only ceremony. I had always dreamed of the "big" princess type wedding, but now that I've grown and realized that it is not about the "wedding" but about the "marriage" then it only seems right that it is just family...minus a brother and SIL (so sad...but they will be down a few days later!).

I've been asked a few times whether I regret actually getting divorced. Obviously, it is not what I had wanted, but, at the point we were at, there really wasn't a very good alternative. In a wierd way I am very thankful for it. I was truly blessed to see how God provided for me. And we were both so young when we first married, faced with the birth of P only 5 months after and then E with all of his major problems only 15 months later. We never had a chance to "grow up" and be our own person. This last two years has allowed both of us the time to "grow up" to be ourselves so that we can give of ourselves unselfishly in our marriage. It's really hard to give yourself when you don't know who you are.

The biggest thing that I've noticed between this marriage and the first one is the feelings that I have. With the first marriage it was all about how completely and totally "in love" we were! It was all about these ushy-gushy "feelings". But the wierd thing is that I couldn't imagine forever with him...it seemed like a very long time! Not that I didn't want to spend "forever" together, but it just seemed so long.

Now I just feel like I have this amazing person that understands me - warts and all. I know him - warts and all. He is my best friend, regardless of circumstances he has been my best friend for the last 12 years. I can't imagine not spending forever with him, and forever doesn't seem that long. I have gaps....and he fills those gaps. I feel like I've found that rare companion to do life with.

Yes, I Know, It's Been a Long Time!

2008-06-03T16:17:00.002-05:00

The last month has been pretty packed. The kids got out of school today...so as of now I have a 4th grader, 3rd grader and Kindergartner. I can't believe all three of my kiddos are in school now! Summer is starting and the craziness begins! P & J are leaving for Houston tomorrow to spend a week with their grandparents. I also started my new summer schedule which means I get to work from home on Tuesdays. I'm loving it so far and managed to get quite a bit of work done.

I finished my semester with a 4.0 and decided to take the summer off of school. Actually it really wasn't an option, there are only a few classes that I could take and they all meet during the day when I'm at work. It turned out pretty good though, because I was starting to get kind of burned out. I also managed to get enough grant money to cover all of my tuition for the fall and spring semesters.

That's about all I'm going to get into for now, just letting everyone know I'm still alive!

My Baby is 5 Today!

2008-05-08T11:29:00.003-05:00

Wow! Time sure flies! Five years ago today we were welcoming J into the world. And, as is the way with my children, it was not without its problems. J had aspirated meuconium and had to be put in the NICU for a few days and then moved into the step-down nursery. While we were on our way to pick him up (he was 6 days old) the Dr called us (the same dr. that saved E) and told us they had to move him back to the NICU. He was having problems and they weren't sure why, but it could have something to do with his "botched" circumcision. (I'm assuming all the guys are crossing their legs right now!) It turns out that he lost 20% of his blood because of an over-zealous FEMALE dr (had it been a man I'm confident it would not have happened). After spending a few more days in the NICU we finally got to bring him home. Thankfully now, J seems to be fine....he might have to have some work when he gets older....we don't know if there is other damage if ya know what I mean.

But, for now, I'm enjoying my wonderfully delightful 5 year old who is, by far, the easiest child I have ever met! This morning I woke him up and this was our conversation:

Me: "What day is today?"
J (half asleep): "My birthday"

Me: "How old are you?"
J: "5"

Me: (starting to sing)"Happy Birthday to you, happy birth..."
J: (interrupting) "Mom, I have a big day ahead of me, I need more rest" (as he pulls the covers back over his head!)

Ambulance Adventures

2008-04-24T18:08:00.002-05:00

Do you remember hearing about my little "episodes"? If not, look Here.

Well today I had another episode. I've actually had several since I was originally diagnosed back in August, but they haven't been too major. So today I'm working around the office as usual and I'm standing at my boss's door talking to her. In mid-sentence my heart is struck with the sensation as though I had just run a marathon at record speed. Immediately I feel faint and rush to my chair to sit down. My boss obviously realizes that something is very wrong and follows me. I'm sitting in my chair trying to breathe, but I feel as though the wind has just been knocked out of me and I'm starting to get really nervous because I've never had an episode this bad. My boss is getting really concerned and calls the Police Chief in who immediately calls for an ambulance. Within a few moments I have every firefighter on duty sitting in front of my desk, along with the Fire Chief, Police Chief and our Town Administrator....I guess that's the advantage of working at Town Hall....when the fire fighters hear a call go out for "a 30 yr old woman with chest pains and ___ Town Hall" and some of them know my history because I was smart enough to warn them....you get the whole calvary! Before I even know what's going on I'm chewing baby aspirin, breathing oxygen and hooked up to all sorts of machines (actually it was just two, but there were enough wires to feel like it was a million) and then I was in the ambulance with an IV inserted and being hooked up to a 12 lead EKG. Any of you who have been through one of these know where all they have to hook the leads up to...if not, just imagine sticky things being placed all over the upper part of your body that a bathing suit hides....and this by guys that I know, some of whom I've worked with for several years! Luckily they were EXTREMELY professional and assured me that everything would be kept confidential (I know this is required, but it's nice to hear). But, this being a small town I work in, I know that it's only a matter of time. It's not really that big of a deal to me, the only thing I kept thinking is that the guys were probably wondering how much I actually weigh as they lifted me into the ambulance!

Obviously I'm home so I'm doing well. They ran some tests and it was just the same old tachycardia as before. I'm going to go follow up with my cardiologist on Wednesday. Last time I went to see him in January I was told that I really need to increase my dosage of my medicine, but they couldn't because my blood pressure was already too low. The only other alternative is to have some procedure that basically involves shocking the heart (I think it's electro cardioversion) which I'm not too excited to do....it might help if I take my medicine more regularly. It just makes me so sleepy!

Anyways...that's my adventure for today!

It's been a week...

2008-04-20T19:31:00.003-05:00

and I've been busy!

Yes, it's been awhile since the last post, but my life is crazier than usual.

Monday - work and class, "group" project that I had to turn in and do a presentation on worth 25% of my grade..."group" turned out to be "Kristi" because nobody else actually cares what grade they get....as a few of the 8 other members of my group came into class a few of the guys commented..."Kristi looks kind of pissed" gee, you think??? I left the house at 6:50a and got home at 9:15p....didn't get to see the kids.

Tuesday - work and more work...I had to do a council meeting that took a little longer than expected, and people were not happy! I left the house at 7:00a and got home at 8:30p....saw the kids for about 5 minutes

Wednesday - just work, but a little later....I had 4 meetings, the last one lasted MUCH longer than expected and I ended up leaving work almost 1 1/2 hours late...after a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up much needed diapers I finally got home at 6:30p, I left the house at 6:45a - thank God football practice was canceled! saw the kids for about 2 hours

Thursday - just work...left the house at 7:00a and actually got home at about 5:15p, but I had another "group"/"Kristi" project to work on that consumed my time from 6:45p to midnight, ugh! Got to see the kids....but was too stressed about my project to enjoy it.

Friday - work and football...left the house at 6:45a got home at 3:30p because my mom was sick so she couldn't watch the boys....I was actually able to run some errands...go to the dr to pick up E's prescription, bank, etc. then we left for football practice at 5:30p returned home at 8:30p....got to watch the kids run around with friends/teammates at practice

Saturday - work....yep, the Town had their "spring clean-up day" which turned out absolutely fabulous, but was exhausting! I had also managed to hurt my eye pretty bad late Friday night...my eye was swollen and wouldn't stop watering, burning really bad like when sweat pours into it. I was hoping it would get better during the night, but I woke up Saturday morning and I could barely see out of it because it was tearing up so bad. I left the house at 7a to take E to my parents for the day while I went to work....got to work...left for about 1 1/2 hours to go to CareNow (their web check-in is AWESOME!), went back to work and left at 4p after spending the whole afternoon in the hot sun...yes I'm very sunburned! Went and picked E up at my parents and finally got home at 5:45p....I then spent another 3 hours on my "group" project. I also had to end up missing P's football game and it was actually his first game to start as defensive end...he also got his first tackle! Luckily there is a company that video tapes the games so I can purchase a copy to watch...P's been wanting to get one anyways. P&J were with Tim and his mom...so I only saw them a few minutes

I managed to get in bed at 9p with a puffy, watery eye; rosy cheeks, bright red, very sore arms and a massive headache!

Today....didn't really have too much to do, I spent another hour or so on the project and got my house cleaned....the rest of the day was fairly relaxing. I finally got to spend a couple ours with the kids....this whole week has been rough on ALL of us....the kids are acting out a bit...in fact J just peed on P's leg....what kind of discipline do you hand down for that? and how do you do it without laughing...you should have seen their expressions! I think J couldn't even believe that he actually did it!

Only three more weeks and school will be over for me....I can't wait until this summer.

He's trying....

2008-04-13T11:50:00.002-05:00

Here's a video of E trying to say "mama". He never quite gets it out, but he's getting better at his "mmm" sounds....and blowing kisses at me when he wants to stop! :)

Mama...

2008-04-10T10:17:00.002-05:00

yep, that's right....that beautiful word was finally released from the lips of my dear son at the tender age of 100 months and 21 days old! I remember various mom's "competing" when my others were younger saying "Johnny said supercalifragilisticexpealidocious at only 10 months old!" So now I get the bragging rights! It was absolutely beautiful! I watched this wonderful documentary on HBO (Tivo it or get it on demand if you can...right now Charter has it on demand under HBO documentaries). The documentary is called "Autism: The Musical" and it's about a single mother who has an autistic son that is very similar to E...only slightly more high-functioning and he's about 12 years old. She started this project to put on a musical with a bunch of autistic kids. I watched how she worked with her son and made him look at her and refused to let him withdraw into his world and it was inspiring. Her son has very little verbal skills...he can say a few consonant sounds, but she is constantly working with him to respond to her questions with the beginning consonant of the word. For example she would say "Johnny, what do you want to drink?" and he might respond "Mmmm" for "milk". So I tried using her approach to get E to say Mama. He was trying so hard...I knew he wanted to say it...he kept pursing his lips together with a great look of concentration on his face. It was almost like watching someone with a severe stutter try to get a word out. Then he said "mmm" and I coaxed him a little more and a little more and he finally said "mmmmmaammmmmaa". He hasn't really said it again, but he keeps saying "mmmm". If I never here the word again I will still remember what it sounded like. I'm going to try to tape it tonight and post it so everyone can at least see how hard he is trying!

No, I Haven't Fallen Off the Face of the Earth...

2008-04-02T12:44:00.003-05:00

although, at times, it may seem as if I have. My life's just been busy, so what else is new?

P is playing spring tackle football so that's keeping us busy. It's been several years since he has played any sports, but he's been playing football with all of the neighborhood kids for a while now and they all play so we figured we'd give it a try. He really seems to be enjoying it, but he is behind somewhat. I guess in Texas 9 years old is a little late to start playing!

I went and registerd J for kindergarten Tuesday. I actually had to make an appointment to register him and bring every possible form of identification under the sun along with completing about 20 pages worth of information. It was easier for me to get into college than it is now registering for kindergarten!

One of the other things on my long list of "To Do" items Tuesday was to take E to his evaluation at MHMR. It's been going on for a while now. The last I updated everyone, I think, was when we had received a final report from the school basically saying that they had attempted to perform an IQ test, but could not and his teacher answered a questionaire for a modified IQ test which showed him off the charts low. Well I picked E up from school and he was in an absolutely wonderful mood...perfect angel. I haven't seen this good of behavior in months...it figures! I call my mom and ask her to pray that MHMR would see E in all his glory to make sure they saw what it was like day-to-day with him. The appointment only lasted about 45 minutes and he was perfect the whole time...fortunately God was in control.
After the evaluation the lady performing the assessment told me that I would receive a letter in 2 to 3 weeks to let me know if he was eligble for services. I'm thinking the whole time, "yeah right, they are going to think I'm crazy for even asking!" She needed a second person to verify information, but almost everyone was at lunch. The person she ended up finding was the dr that's in charge of qualifying everyone. She came in and took a look at E's chart and said that he most definitely qualified for services and that I should receive a letter confirming that in about a week. Yeah!!!

That's about it for now!

10 Years Ago Today...

2008-03-22T14:52:00.002-05:00

I was saying "I do" to the father of my three beautiful children. And while it didn't turn out the way I planned, I am still thankful for the nearly nine years we had together, even if some of them were kind of rough. It's just a wierd day.

Quarantine

2008-03-22T14:44:00.002-05:00

That's what this Spring Break has been...a quarantine period. Basically I haven't let my children play with anyone (they haven't really had the desire to either). And know it seems that...dare I say it....everyone is well. Granted P & J are on antibiotics and still will be for another week, but I think we are finally on the tail end of this junk, thank God!

*#$%#@!!

2008-03-15T15:00:00.002-05:00

I don't know what else to put in the title! As soon as I was done posting my last blog P came up to me crying because his ears hurt so bad. So we went to the dr and found out he has a major ear infection. ....24 hours later...J comes up to me kind of whimpering and says he wants snuggles...I give him a hug and he is burning up!

So what did I do? Well to start with I gave him some Motrin and got him comfortable on the couch and then I turned into a mad woman! I've gone through an entire can of Lysol spraying just about every single surface in this house! I've opened up all the windows to get some fresh air in. I've turned on my air purifier full blast and I'm moving it from room to room (yes it probably defeats the purpose by having the windows open but it makes me feel better). I've stripped all of the beds and they are either in the laundry or in the process (I have that cool silver care thing on my washer that uses silver ions to sanitize clothes in cold water, pretty cool) and I'm also going to throw in all of the pillows. And I've thrown away all of our toothbrushes!

So I guess we'll see if this works, and if not, at least I got some of my frustrations out!

I hate the flu!

2008-03-14T10:40:00.003-05:00

So yesterday everyone was back at school for the first time in about 10 days, YEAH! I get to work this morning at 7:45a ready for a VERY busy and hopefully productive day. I get an email at about 8:30a from the school nurse (that should tell you how much I communicate with her) to give me a heads up that P was in her office complaining about a headache but no fever. She lets him rest for about 20 minutes and sends him back to class. I promptly reply thanking her and to let me know if he starts running a fever. UGH!!!

Less than a minute after I send the email to her my phone rings and it's her office number on the caller id (yes I can recognize the nurse's office number, another wonderful sign of how much we communicate). I answer and she tells me that P just threw up and he's back in her office! Somebody save me!!!!!

So I wrap up a few things and head out...only an hour after I got in. Ugh! Thank goodness next week is spring break and I already have sitters lined up. I will actually be able to work a full week (less Good Friday) for the first time in months. That is unless I get sick....please, God no!

Desires of My Heart

2008-03-11T16:53:00.002-05:00

The past couple of weeks I have had a deep tugging at my heart. It's completely unrealistic tugging, but a tugging nonetheless. I'm finally deciding to share it in the hopes that maybe somebody will offer some words of wisdom to get me over this hump.

So what is the desire? To stay at home with my kids. There are several reasons that I want this...I want to see my kids more often, spend more time with them; I want to be the homemaker that has dinner ready and everyone sits around the table and talks about their day; I want to have the ability to have my kids involved in the different activities that they want to be involved in; I want to actually have time to clean my house (lately it's been kind of a wreck); I want to have time to go to the bank or the grocery store...

I DON'T WANT TO COMPLETELY STRESS OUT WHEN MY KIDS GET SICK! That would really help right now. After all the crud that was passed around in January and now P getting over being sick again (and completely missing the TAKS tests, UGH!) and taking J to the dr today, I've about had it. I have ZERO sick time left, ZERO comp time, ZERO vacation time. And I haven't even had to stay home with them most of the time, I've had a lot of help from my mom. My dad and the kids dad has even stayed home with them. I feel a TON of pressure on me from my boss each time I have to take off, it sucks!

Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I love what I do....I'm just in a funk and I really need to get out of it. There's no way that a single mother of three boys can just decide to be a SAHM.

I will now open the floor for discussions, advice, comments or even just a good kick in the a$$.

Snow Day!

2008-03-06T15:27:00.003-06:00

This was taken at about 2:45p this afternoon. We've received about 3-4" of snow...you can't even distinguish our driveway from the lawn from the sidewalk, almost from the street.

I love the snow!!

Amazingly Fun!

2008-03-03T10:56:00.002-06:00

That's what the wedding was like on Saturday! It was so much fun! The ceremony was fun, the reception was fun and I had so much fun visiting with all my family that came into town for it. So many people came up to our family at the reception and said that it was the best wedding they had ever been too. But you know what the best part was? It was completely Mark & Kristy! Every little detail reflected their personality and it was so clear that they were both so totally in love.

So a toast...

To my dear brother Mark, I couldn't be more proud of the man that you have become and your wonderful choice in a bride.

&

To the new Kristy Alpert from the old Kristi Alpert, I am so excited that you are finally "officially" part of our family! You bring so much fun and excitement to our lives.

Cool!

2008-02-24T07:53:00.002-06:00

So, it's Sunday morning and I'm sitting at the dining room table trying to finish up my paper that is due in a week and study for two tests that I have over the next ten days and work on a project that has portions of it due tomorrow and next week. It doesn't sound too bad, but when you subtract five days from the equation because of family members coming into town and wedding festivities. So I'm a little stressed, but something beautiful just happened.

I just stood up from the table so I could start the laundry and E came up to me, looked me straight in the eyes, stood on his tip toes and wrapped both of his arms around my neck in a full hug. My heart has completely melted. This is the FIRST true hug that he's ever given me. Yeah there have been times when he has leaned in as I go to hug him, or I physically put his arms around me and he just sat there. This time HE initiated it, HE went out of his way to come to me, HE stood on his tip toes to reach me, and HE squeezed....I think this just may be the best feeling in the world!!!

How Many Balls Can One Juggle at Once?

2008-02-15T06:56:00.002-06:00

Temporarily, it feels like I can juggle a million....and then I crash and burn. I'm having a crash and burn week!

The balls I'm currently juggling (or dropping on the floor!):
-my two college classes
-the two major projects that I have for each class
-the two tests that I have coming up in a week
-this feeling of impending sickness and general yuck that I've had for nearly a month (it's really starting to drain me)
-raising three boys
-dealing with E's medicine....since he's on a controlled substance for his behavior I have to get it filled once a month, but the prescription has to be hand written EACH time and is only valid for SEVEN days...so I have to coordinate a time to get to his dr during work hours (about 1/2 hour away from my work), get it to the pharmacy and get it filled within 7 days, but inevitably they are out so I have to make sure that I call a day or two in advance and make sure they have it in stock or order it. If I don't then the prescription expires and I have to start the whole process over again BEFORE E's medicine runs out. Luckily my mom helps me with this a bit.
-work....it's been really busy. And because of all the gas wells in the area my workload has more than doubled and it's only going to get worse. So far we only have 15 wells, but we are anticipating up to 90 in the next 3 - 4 years and I'm the only one that handles them!
- house, I've decided during all this craziness to have my house painted. Not one of my brightest decisions. I'm putting the project on hold for a couple of weeks to allow me time to gather my thoughts....and clean up my house.
- more house, with all this craziness you can imagine I don't exactly have time to thoroughly clean. My house isn't exactly dirty, it just has a bunch of crap all over the place. This is starting to stress EVERYONE out.
-Mark's wedding - I'm so excited about his wedding in 2 weeks, but trying to get all of the last minutes clothing items together and planning for a lot of family to come out (some I haven't seen in 10 years) is starting to stress me out.

And then this morning...I forgot to lock E's door so he woke up at his normal 3:30a.m. and since his door wasn't locked he came into my room and turned my tv on full blast and started jumping on my bed. Since I was a little tired getting ready this morning I forgot to check the rooms I was walking into. E has a tendancy to open the blinds in the morning....so if there were any neighbors out walking around they got a good look at my newest Victoria Secret purchase! :) I'm trying to figure out a way to apologize, I'm sure it wasn't a pretty picture.

So now rather than juggling all my billions of balls up in the air, I'm sitting on the floor with them scattered about me...it reminds me of the ball pits at Chuck E' Cheeses!

Is the Crud Gone Yet????

2008-02-10T10:41:00.000-06:00

I think (maybe) the crud has finally left our house...I hope I'm not jinxing anything! One of the four of us has been sick since January 24th! Since then there has only been two days that all of children have gone to school. I think Thursday night was possible the worst!

I get home and get the kiddos fed. I try to get the house picked up a bit because I have three classmates coming over to work on a group project at 6:30. All the kiddos get settled and the doorbell rings. Over the next couple of minutes all of the group trickles through my front door. The kiddos are behaving great! E is in my room watching videos and P & J are in the living room playing video games. We begin working on our project, I take a five minute break at about 7:15 to get E in bed and return to working at the dining room table. P & J move into my room to watch cartoons/play on the computer. I'm not hearing a single peep from anyone...it's great! At 8:00 I tell P & J to get their jammies on and head into bed. P does this no problem....J usually requires additional effort. After waiting about 10 minutes I finally go to J's room to check on his progress. As I pass by E's door I notice a foul smell...this is not entirely unusual, although it usually happens in the morning. I continue to J's room and assist him with his jammies and debate whether to change E's diaper now or wait about 10 minutes as the group was wrapping things up. I really didn't want to have to subject my group members to the wonderful smell of a dirty diaper from an 8 year old, so I decide to take a quick peak into E's room to assess the situation and see if it's possible to wait a few minutes. As soon as I open the door I realize that this was going to require immediate action...you see, my dear son did not have a dirty diaper as is the norm. E had gotten sick and thrown up ALL OVER the bedroom and the poor kid was still gagging! I turned on the light and took a look at him and nearly freaked out. His eyes were completely red, not bloodshot....RED. Like the entire whites of his eyes were the color of cherries and he had lost all of the color from his face and had the whiteish green tint that you see on a dead person.

Fair Warning....if you have a weak stomach you may want to skip a couple of lines.

E's hair is completely caked in puke, his ears are full of it, it's all down the front of him and dried on his back because he had laid down in it.

Ok.... you can read again...

He's STILL gagging. I've been through a lot with E so it takes a lot to get me worked up, but I really started to get concerned because of his coloring and because when he throws up he doesn't understand to sit up, he still lays down and chokes on it so it causes a lot more issues. It's so bad that I'm ready to call an ambulance...I've only done that once, and it wasn't for E. Then I remember that I have a paramedic sitting at my dining room table! One of my group members is a paramedic for a larger city around here....once I talked to him a bit I felt better and was able to deal with the situation. I basically told the group members to gather their stuff together and see themselves out as I usher a puke-covered E through the dining room!

As I was sitting in the bathroom cleaning E up, the only thing I could think of is GOD is SO GOOD!

Even though I was only 15' from E's room, I never heard a thing. I don't usually check on E throughout the night, but God caused me to walk into J's room at a time I never do, passing E's room and noticing there was a problem. Then God placed the paramedic in my home to ease my fears! How cool is that? Because of my crazy life I hardly ever have guests in my home that are not family members, but God placed that guy there just for me and E.

Even though life gets rough with E, I get to see something that most people don't...God's hand at work in our lives every day. This is just one example of the hundreds of times that God has taken care of us!

Can't Think of a Good Title...

2008-01-31T17:14:00.000-06:00

Nope, I really can't. So here's an update:

**MHMR apparently has realized how severe E is and is moving his application along, Praise the Lord!

**J has been sick...I left school early Monday night because he had a temperature of 103.8, yuck!

**I'm in Austin right now at a seminar, so I can't be with my sick son, but mom and dad are serving as my substitutes right now...I'm very thankful for that!

**In a month from tomorrow my little brother will have a wife! I think that's pretty cool, but it makes me feel old!

**I really want to get my tax return done so I can get my refund so I can buy my new living room furniture, BUT I still haven't received my 1098T form from UNT. I'm getting VERY impatient!

That's about it!

Asterisks....

2008-01-28T08:37:00.000-06:00

So my 1/18 post talked about my problems that I am having attempting to get E MHMR services and his IQ test. The school district decided to administer and IQ equivalancy test since they were unable to perform the actual IQ test. The results were sent home with E on Friday. The IQ scale for this particular test ranges from 40 to 140. In the area where the composite score is supposed to be were two asterisks (**). The note below said this:

Warning: ** The General Development score cannot be calculated because one or more of the scales is out of the score range.

On the graph that indicates his scores in all of the 6 areas between 40 and 140 he is a straight line at the very bottom.

Hmmmm....well, it's not too often that you actually have proof that your child is off the charts.
It's a shame that they don't have a test to measure great laughs. If they did he would be off the charts...in the other direction.

Now I really don't know what MHMR will do...they've been obsessed about having "the number". I guess we shall see!

Trials in Target...

2008-01-21T19:15:00.000-06:00

It actually wasn't as bad as it sounds. In fact I would say it was probably more entertaining.

I was off today because of MLK day so I decided to put my grocery shopping off until today. I packed up the troops and headed for Target. I know the prices are a bit higher, but when I have the kids with me it's easier because I let them look at the toys and games if they behave. I head south from my driveway --- this always causes a commotion with E because he thinks that if we head north we are going to Nana & Do's and if we head south we are going somewhere else. He never likes "somewhere else". So he throws a fit for a couple of blocks and calms down. We pull into the parking lot --- he throws a fit again just to remind me that he doesn't want to go "somewhere else". Then he calms down. I hop out of the car and head to the back to get out his wheelchair.

*E actually is mobile, but he weighs over 120 lbs at his young age of 8. Which translates into him tiring very easily (after about 5-10 minutes) or he simply decides he doesn't want to do something and sits down in the middle of the parking lot or grocery aisle until he decides he's good and ready to go. You try moving 120 lbs of hitting, kicking and biting...it's just not possible!

Back to the story...I open the back door and realize his wheelchair was not in the car. I took him on a walk yesterday and I forgot to put it back in. Ugh!!! I decide I'll try to get him to walk to the front door and hopefully there will be a wheelchair inside that we can borrow. I absolutely HAVE to have milk and I'm thinking maybe I can get that accomplished at the very least. E seems to enjoy the change of pace. We enter the front door and I don't see any wheelchairs...I decide to turn around and load the kids back into the car and go get the wheelchair and come back. After all, I'm ONLY going to get milk, but it's always at the VERY BACK of the store and there's no way we will make it. There is one minor flaw in my plan.... I entered through the "wrong" door. Those of you that know E know how much he absolutely LOVES videos. Before I knew it he's running to the video aisle. I follow with the other two chasing after him. He's going up and down the kids aisle pulling off all sorts of movies. He looks at each one for a couple of seconds and then clumsily tries to put it back or hands it to one of his brothers.

Now I know I'm stuck. My only hope of survival is to catch him at the appropriate time, distract him and get him out the door quickly. I've found that if I catch him off guard and then grab his hand and take off running with him, he usually doesn't know what hit him until I get my way. So I say "E, do you want to get french fries?" - His favorite - He looks up at me for a moment. And I say "Come on, lets go get french fries". I grab his hand, and we take off running as I'm handing the videos that he has in his hand to P and tell him to put them away and hurry up. So here are the four of us running (more like a power walking because E doesn't run that well) out the door of Target. I'm sure they think that we were trying to steal something, but I got him out the door and in the car before he realized what was going on! Mission accomplished!

Now I still needed to get the milk. So we headed home and threw the chair in the car. I decided not to go back to Target because it was farther away and I just didn't want to deal with it again. So we headed north to WalMart. Of course E was thrilled because he thought we were going to Nana & Do's. I kept repeating over and over again "We're going to the store, E" Nevertheless he threw a minor fit in the WalMart parking lot, but we got in, got our milk (and even the rest of our groceries) and got home...now I'm exhausted!

Autism is Frustrating!

2008-01-18T06:24:00.000-06:00

Last night I was watching a television show while playing Uno with P & J. The show highlighted a family who had three young boys with Autism (they were approximately 4 and twin 2 year olds). It showed in detail what their day was like and all of the therapies the boys attend. They are involved in a very intensive therapy called Applied Behavior Analysis or ABA for short. P was watching pretty intently, towards the end it showed one of the boys actually conversing with his parents. He pointed to his bed and spelled b-e-d. P turned around and said, "Mom that is so neat! We HAVE to get E into that therapy!" My eyes started welling up with tears... first because I was so proud of P for wanting to take care of his brother and second because I didn't know what to say next. How do I tell a 9 year old who desperately wants his brother to talk that it will probably never happen. As a lot of people know E not only has Autism, but pretty severe brain damage. The ABA therapy is great, but it's not a guarantee and it's EXTREMELY expensive! Insurance doesn't cover it...the family on tv shelled out over $150,000 PER YEAR for their sons ABA. There were times that they had 12 tutors in the house at one time! While I know that ABA therapy would probably not work for E, I'm saddened to know that I don't even have the opportunity to try because of finances. I think that 90% of the population would not be able to try because of finances.

I've done everything that I feel I can. He is on waiting lists with the state. One list he's approximately 8,300, the other list he's over 18,000 and they only release a couple hundred a year! I'm trying to get him services through Tarrant Co MHMR. I've given them doctor's letters stating that E is severly Autistic and has brain damage and mental retardation, but that's not sufficient...they need an IQ test. His school has attempted on 4 different occassions to administer an IQ test on E. HE WON'T DO IT. So now I'm stuck in this big loop. I mean this is MHMR (Mental Health and Mental Retardation) surely they have some way to get people into the program that are SO severe that they can't even take an IQ test!

I'm so thrilled that Autism is being brought to the forefront now...it's not hidden away as this secret disease. But what is still extremely frustrating is that they seem to portray the less severe sitations. I've watched many shows on Autism and E is more severe than 90% of them. There are also lots of shows that tend to make people beleive there is a CURE for autism...there's not!

I know that God is bigger than all of this...I know that God could fix E if he wanted to ....I know that God takes care of us. But I'm human and sometimes I have my days where I just want help! I'm fortunate that both of my parents help me so much! But there are still a lot of situations that are lacking. Right now we don't even have a babysitter to watch E in the afternoon. I only need somebody from 3:30 to 5:00 but we haven't been able to find anybody. It's not like I can't afford to pay somebody, it's just we haven't found anybody that wants to help. So right now, my mom comes over 4 days a week after work until I can get home. My dad takes of work early one day a week. I take of early as much as I can, but I've used up almost all of my sick and vacation time on doctor's appointments. It's the little things that get the most tiring. This too shall pass and God is bigger than all of this. But I'm pretty tired, and I know my parents are too.

I'm Having Motivation Problems

2008-01-13T17:15:00.000-06:00

This comes from a company my brother introduced to me www.despair.com.

School starts tomorrow and I am completely unmotivated! This is a real problem because typically I start of the semester very motivated and kick butt the first several weeks. This allows me the opportunity to slack off a little towards the end. I have a feeling my plan won't work this semester. Maybe it's because I've been so incredibly busy at work, maybe it's because I know that my classes are going to be a lot harder this semester. Granted I'm only taking 6 hours, but on top of working full-time and trying to manage a household of boys, it can get a bit overwhelming.

Maybe I'll get a burst of energy tonight...I'm thinking I should go to bed now (5:30 pm), of course that's not going to happen, I have to at least wait until the kiddos are all in bed, 8:30 is a very good possibility.

What am I taking you ask? (Okay, I know that nobody is asking, but I'm going to post anyways, simply because I think it is entertaining.)

Disaster Response & Recovery - Theoretical examination and practical application of post-disaster management activities including human behavior in emergency situations, warning, evacuation, sheltering, triage, damage assessment, disaster declaration, debris removal, media relations, crisis counseling, individual and public assistance, and other relevant functions. Decision making, incident command, EOC operations, coordination and service delivery strategies are also discussed.

Hazard Mitigation & Preparedness - Theoretical examination and practical application of pre-disaster management activities including hazard and vulnerability analysis, structural and non-structural mitigation, capability assessment, planning, training, exercises and public education. Development planning, political advocacy and networking are heavily stressed.

I'm sure they don't sound near as interesting to you as they do to me. I actually think I'm going to enjoy this semester. I'm finally getting to the meat of my studies.

Yep, That's my SIL!

2008-01-10T16:34:00.000-06:00

Take a look at this neat news article about Katie!

Why Don't You Give This a Try....

2008-01-05T13:51:00.001-06:00

There's a church in the Keller area that I tried several times and really enjoyed. They are starting their version of the bible in a year type thing. It's called Interactive Bible Reading. It's in a blog format that has daily posts from various people that will contain devotional thoughts, general helps, and questions to help you interact with the text. It will also have a video to go with each book of the bible. Each day (Mon thru Sat) you read two chapters, one from various OT books and one from the Psalms. It won't go through the entire OT, but will hit a lot of the highlights on various people and events.

It sounds like it will be interesting. I'm going to give it a try, why don't you?

New Year's Resolution

2008-01-01T15:15:00.001-06:00

So, my New Year's resolution is to complete 4 of my 40 Things Before I'm 40 list. I figure that I should figure out what more of my "40" should be since I only have 28 right now.

So here are some of the next few:

29. Famiy trip to Colorado
30. Learn how to cut an onion (I'm really good at cooking, but I've never managed to figure out the "proper" way to cut an onion)
31. Go to a hockey game (I'm not that into hockey, but I've always thought that a hockey game would be entertaining)
32. Take the kids to Nevada to see where I was born.
33. Finish painting the inside of my house! I absolutely HATE white walls, but I HATE painting even more!
34. More to come...

One of them should be to figure out how to put check marks next to the ones I've completed on the side of the blog! If anyone knows how to do that, please clue me in!

Best Christmas Ever!

2007-12-27T07:22:00.000-06:00

I think this Christmas has to go down as one of the best that I can remember. I usually tell the kids that they can't get out of bed before 6 a.m., but I forgot to this year. So I started waking up at 4 a.m. anticipating them waking me up, but it didn't happen. I could barely sleep because I kept thinking that they would be waking up and, in turn, waking me up at any moment. J was sleeping in my room with me, so finally at 6:30 I start to feel him stir.

Me: "J wake up, it's Christmas!"
J: "Christmas? Yeah!"
Me: "Do you want to get up and open presents?"
J: "No, I want to wait until it gets light outside."

And then he promptly rolls back over and goes back to sleep.

What? This is my 4 year old! He definitely takes after his father in the sleeping department! P finanly comes in at about 6:50 and wakes us both up.

One of the best things about this Christmas is that E actually took part in it somewhat. He usually ends up in his bedroom or my bedroom watching tv because he doesn't like all the noise and commotion. This year we took one present into the bedroom for him and started to open it enough for him to realize that it was something he would like. He then took it away and started opening it himself. Then he kept coming out into the living room looking for more presents. The kids enjoyed themselves and opened presents several times throughout the day. And I got the best present of all....a new DISHWASHER! I know it doesn't sound all that glamorous, but I desperately needed a new one. My old one still worked, but it was loud, not very efficient and didn't hold very much. I remember when we first moved into our house, the first time I used the dishwasher I decided that it was going to be the first thing to be replaced, so I am very excited!

3.67

2007-12-18T05:48:00.000-06:00

that's my gpa for this last semester. I had an 88.8 in one of my classes that kept me from getting a perfect 4.0...oh well. After 11 years I am finally a SENIOR again! I'm excited, but with my changing majors and going part-time I'm still not expecting to graduate until 2010...hopefully it will come much quicker than it sounds!

This is what we did yesterday...

2007-12-16T16:22:00.000-06:00

Congratulations Mark & Kristy

I don't know what it is with me and quotes these days...

2007-12-06T12:51:00.001-06:00

but here's another one I liked:

After a girl is grown, her little brothers - now her protectors - seem like big brothers. ~Astrid Alauda

Last night I was thinking about how proud I am of my brothers and how lucky I am too! Mark is graduating in a week and leading such a neat life right now. And Michael is working so hard (on his Master's and many other things). I'm just really proud to call them my brothers!

Just a little tidbit...

2007-12-05T17:12:00.000-06:00

I saw this quote today and thought I would share:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Been busy...

2007-11-30T12:49:00.000-06:00

So I've been pretty busy the last week or so (actually mainly sick) hence the no posting. Right now I'm on my THIRD round of antibiotics to kick this nasty bought of bronchitis that I have had since October 28th! I think this one is finally working. In that short month, P & J have had eight ear infections, several sore throats and bronchitis between the two of them. All in all the three of us have been on six different antibiotics in the last five weeks, not to mention the numerous cough medicines, inhalers, breathing treatments, motrin, tylenol, musinex (that stuffs expensive!), ear drops, etc. We all have pretty decent insurance, but last night I was looking at my monthly budget and I've spent well over $500 this month in doctors and medicine. Ugh!!!

On a brighter note...I purchased a brand new '07 Hyundai Entourage - Cranberry Red - the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I have never had a brand new car, so it's pretty exciting. I think I got a pretty good deal (about $3,000 under invoice and $6,500 under MSRP). I got some neat extras with it (heated seats and a computer that calculates your gas mileage and how many more miles you can drive on your tank of gas are my favorite). The kids were kind of disappointed that I didn't get the DVD player, but it's hard to justify spending nearly $3,000 on something that you can get bigger and better after-market for much cheaper.

Just a note...it may be a while before I post again. Finals are coming up and I desperately need to study...I haven't been doing much of that with how I've been feeling

My Little (actually big) E, is 8 and we never thought he'd be here...

2007-11-18T21:58:00.000-06:00

E’s 8th birthday is tomorrow. Every year around this time I think back to what we went through in the days before and after his birth. I really am not one to journal, but I did on this occasion (at least a couple of days after, I was a bit too drugged up to do it during the events). I thought it might be interesting to share the journal to show how good God has been to E. I know without a shadow of a doubt that E has a purpose here. I only hope to be able to figure out what that purpose is. This is long, but well worth the read. Enjoy…

11/16/99 – We went to Dr. Whittaker for a sonogram today to see how big you were, they found that your heart rate was 220. Dr. Whittaker immediately called Dr. Trimmer, a perinatologist, and they sent me to Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas. Dr. Trimmer did another sonogram, he found lots of fluid in your abdomen and some around your lungs.

11/17/99 – I met with Dr. Wright, a neat Christian Pediatric Cardiologist. She did an echocardiogram and decided the best thing to do would be to put me on digoxin to lower your heart rate.

11/18/99 – Dr. Wright did another echocardiogram and saw that the left atrium was swelling a little bit and your heart rate had not decreased, so she put me on flecainide.

11/19/99 – Dr. Wright did a third echocardiogram and found that your heart valve was leaking a little bit and the medicine was lowering my heart rate a lot but not doing anything to yours, so Dr Wr suggested we deliver you. Dr Patton (Dr. Trimmer’s partner) though we should try to give you a shot in the thigh of digoxin through my tummy. Daddy and I asked to talk to a neonatologist. Dr. Prieto (another really neat Christian) talked t us about what would happen if I delivered you today. She said you would have a 50% chance of surviving. We though giving you the shot was too risky, so we decided to deliver you. (Side note – the doctors said that if we gave E the shot he would be carried to term and be “fine,” but we just knew that we couldn’t do that.) They prepared me for a c-section and got e to the operating room. Here were several nurses and doctors around, most of them were for you. You were delivered at 2:XX p.m. (another side note – things were so crazy that I still don’t know to this day exactly what time E was born). I heard you let out one little cry before they stuck the breathing tube in, it was the best sound I ever heard! Daddy went with you to the NICU while the doctor’s sewed me up. After I had been back in my room for about 45 minutes, Daddy came to tell me that they were having problems lowering your heart rate. They tried several medicines, had to shock you with the paddles a couple of times and even had to perform CPR on you once. They then wheeled me, in my hospital bed, into the NICU so I could see you in case you didn’t make it. I wasn’t too upset, I don’t know if I was in shock or what. God just gave me a real peace about everything, I knew you would make it. It ended up taking Dr. Wright and Dr. Preito, another cardiologist and several nurses five hours to lower your heart rate. You were 8lbs 2 oz and 19 ½” long at six weeks early. You had lots of fluid absorbed in your skin and your belly was huge. The doctors told us it was because of your high heart rate so the doctor’s gave you lasix to get rid of the fluid.

11/22/99 – I was sent home from the hospital and it was so hard to leave you. Dr. Prieto told us you probably wouldn’t be released until around you original due date, which was December 27. Dr. Wright did another echo on you and it showed your heart pumping like normal.

11/25/99 (Thanksgiving) – Daddy and I have been making the 45 minute trip to the hospital twice a day. It’s really had not having you home and not having our family together, but we’re so thankful that you are here!
11/26/99 – Dr. Green (another neonatologist) called us at 3:45 a.m. to tell us that your heart rate had gone up and you had been in SVT for about an hour. Daddy and I were so scared we wouldn’t make it to the hospital in time. Dr. Newfield (Dr. Wright’s partner) was there with Dr. Green and several nurses. We walked in right after they shocked you with the paddles. Over the course of the next couple of hours they tried several medicines on you and shocked you several times. Dr. Newfield came up to us twice telling us you would die in the next couple of minutes. Your heart rate finally decreased, but so did your blood pressure. The doctor’s figured out if they did a couple of chest compressions then your blood pressure would go up and reamin normal for about 10 minutes they they would begin with the ches compressions again. This continued for about 6 hours until they were having to give you chest compressions every 15 seconds. We didn’t think there was anything else they could do, but Dr. Newfeld decided to transfer you to Children’s Hospital to see about putting a pace maker in. Daddy and I were so excited that there was another chance to do something. By this time it was about noon and daddy was starving so he went to get something to eat and I had to go pump my milk. Daddy came to see me about 10 minutes later and said that they hadn’t done chest compressions on you since we left! God must have stepped in when we both left because that was the last time they had to do chest compressions on you! About 45 minutes later they loaded you up in a baby blue ambulance with a bid teddy bear painted on it (it was so cute!), then they drove off with their lights and sirens on. It was about an hour or two before they let us in to see you. We were very impressed with the NICU, it looked so much more high tech then Presby’s (side note: J was in the NICU at Presby when he was born in 2003 and they had a brand new NICU that was amazing!) There were only 3 other babies in the room with you instead of 30! They did another echo on you and were surprised to find that your heart rate looked fairly normal (at least normal for you!). The only thing wrong was that it was a little swollen due to all the stress it had been under and your kidney’s weren’t functioning very well because of all the medicine and shocking you.

11/30/99 – You were doing much better and they decided to take your ventilator out late that night after mommy and daddy had already gone home. Daddy was sick so he couldn’t come to see you, but I came and that’s the first time I saw you without your ventilator. I was so excited! It was the first time I saw your lips and only the second time I heard you cry, although it wasn’t very loud because of the ventilator. But the main reason why I was so excited was because it was the first time I got to hold you! You were 11 days old. I was so excited, I was crying and couldn’t stop smiling! I made the nurses take lots of pictures. I just sat and rocked you. The only reason I got up was because the baby across from you was dying and the family wanted to be alone. After a couple of hours, they let me come back in and they had taken out your arterial line (the IV that was going through your belly button) and they had stuck a regular IV in. They decided they were going to move you out of the NICU and upstairs to the cardiology floor. I was so scared to move you because you were going to be in a room all by yourself with no nurses around, so I had to be there 24/7.

12/2/99 – Today was the first day that daddy got to hold you since he had been sick. They also decided to move you to a different room because the monitoring wasn’t working well in the room you were in.

12/3/99 – Dr. Wright came in to see you and said she would release you once you had gone 72 hours without going into SVT.

12/4/99 – You’ve still been going into SVT and they are having to give you adenosine to get you out of it. The nurses keep messing up your IV when they give you the medicine since so are so tiny. They are having problems putting a new one in. They’ve had to call NICU nurses, transport nurses and other “experts”. You’ve probably been stuck at least 25 times in the past 2 days. They finally had to shave a spot on your head to put an IV in. Mommy wasn’t very happy!

12/6/99 – P saw you for the first time today (he was 15 months old at the time). He was fascinated and kept wanting to climb into the crib with you.

12/8/99 – Dr. Wright decided that you could go home even though you had still been having episodes because you’ve been coming out of them fine with ice on your face. They took out your IV so they could watch you without it until you’re released tomorrow after dad & I take the CPR class. The earliest we could get the class was at 6:00 p.m. because we had to work around the respiratory therapist’s schedule and daddy’s boss wouldn’t let him off work (I’m still pissed off about that one!).

FINALLY at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, December 9th we got to take you home, you were 20 days old! Grandma Paula was at the house with P, but he was so tired he fell asleep before we got home.

Is that a bad thing?

2007-11-16T19:57:00.000-06:00

"Yes ma'am, it's a very bad thing?"
"Like how expensive of a bad thing?"
"Anywhere between $2,500 and $5,000. We are not finished with the diagnostics yet, so it could be more."
"Finish with the $99 diagnostic and then do not touch it again!"

That was the coversation between me and the auto shop today. Apparently the minivan has a broken valve spring, whatever that is. And it's not good! So it looks like I will be car shopping over Thanksgiving.

Pros:
-It's always nice to get a new car.
-It's the end of the year so I should be able to get a good deal.
-With gas prices so high, I should be able to get a good deal.
-I won't have to feel bad about getting a new car because I don't have any choice.
-I got a decent raise the first of October and it hasn't really been absorbed into my budget yet, so that will help with the payments.

Cons:
-I'm going to have to spend more than I wanted to.
-I've become used to living actually somewhat comfortably instead of paycheck to paycheck and I'm scared to death to end up in that situation again, especially being a single mom.
-I'm going to have a car payment again. In the 11 years that I've been living on my own, I've been fortunate to only have a car payment for 14 months and that was when I was married.

Bottom line....
God is good and he has the perfect car out there just in my price range. Please pray that I find it without too much hassle!

Just One of Those Days...

2007-11-16T14:25:00.000-06:00

I've been sick for a couple weeks now. This happens every couple of years...I come down with bronchitis that takes a couple weeks to go away....this time, though, I'm not able to cough anything up (yes, I know it's gross) so it's not getting any better. Yesterday I went to the dr and he gave me another antibiotic, cough medicine with codeine (love that!), an inhaler and steroids for the cough. So I went to go buy out the pharmacy when I had a major coughing attack in which I could barely breathe. I was in the drive-thru line, the pharmacist came to the window and told me it would be a few minutes...I told her if she didn't get me my inhaler immediately she was going to have to call an ambulance. So she passed it through while she was waiting on other stuff. I took several puffs which helped some, but then I became light-headed. The kids were kind of worried...I was trying to not act too scared because I didn't want to worry them further. I had P call his dad to tell him to come over because it was clear that I was going to have to take a large dose of the codeine cough medicine which would completely knock me out! So we get home safely, I go to sleep and wake up feeling better. I get E & P off to school, drop J off at day care and head in to work. As I'm pulling into my work parking lot I start coughing quite a bit. I head into work, my boss hears me and promptly tells me to finish the little bit of stuff that has to be done today, and go home. Personally, I just think she was sick of hearing my cough (I know I would be if the situation was reversed). I decide I might as well make a dr's appt for J because he hasn't quite gotten over his cough from his last dr's visit two weeks ago and has just barely started complaining about his ear hurting. He's going with his dad to Houston for Thanksgiving on Wednesday and I want to make sure he's not sick when I'm not around. I leave work and head to J's school to pick him up, about two miles from the school, my car starts jerking and sputtering and the engine light is flashing hysterically. At this point I'm just praying that I won't break down in the middle of the highway...I make it to J's school and pray once again that the car will start...it starts. When I pick J up it is clear that he has gotten worse and really needs to see the dr today. I quickly decide that I'm going to still try to make it to the dr as it is only about 3 miles away then I will take it to the shop (about 2 miles from the dr's) or have it towed. I'm praying the whole way to the dr's that the car will make it...while I'm trying to get a hold of neighbors or my parents to see if someone can meet me at the shop. The car dies as soon as I pull into the parking space. Thank you, Lord! See the dr...J has a sinus infection and a double ear infection...decide to see if I can get the car started and hobble to the repair shop...please Lord. It starts, and I drive (hobble) away. I feel like I'm driving an old clunker, hoopty the whole time. It is jerking and sputtering and making a horrible noise and sounds as if it's about to fall apart! Just as we are pulling into the parking space at the shop it dies again. Thank you Lord! They're going to run a diagnostic on it and I get ahold of one of my neighbors that comes to pick us up. By this time it is after lunch so my mom just decides to leave work and come drop off her car for me to use, so I drive her back home. On the way, E's teacher calls me to tell me that E fell and hit his head...she doesn't think it's serious just wants to let me know. I inform her that any head injury with a kid who has hydrocephalus could be serious, I tell her the warning signs to look for to see if I need to take him to the emergency room. So now I am back home, it's been uneventful for the last 30 minutes or so...we'll see if we can make it through the rest of the day. Right now I'm waiting to hear from the shop to see what the damages are. The minivan has 93,000 miles on it so I'm going to be facing the repair or replace decision pretty soon. The only problem is that I have to have a minivan (or an extremely accessible SUV) because of E's problems (behavior and physical) and so I have room for his wheelchair plus groceries. That means that I can't get away with spending just a little bit of $. I was planning on getting another car in the spring...we'll see.

Thank you, Lord, that the car didn't break down last night while I had all the kids and I was having problems breathing.

Thank you, Lord, that the car broke down when everyone is taking time off for Thanksgiving so it's easy to share.

Thank you, Lord, for neighbors and parents so willing to help!

Thank you, Lord, that I have yet to hear back from E's teacher so it looks like he will be fine!

New Blog Look...Whadaya think?

2007-11-08T19:16:00.000-06:00

What do you think of my new blog look? I had it custom designed by *FABULOUS K DESIGNS*. She did Bonnye's too. I love it!

Disney Pics, Finally!

2007-11-04T17:15:00.000-06:00

Make a slide show, scrapbook or ecard

Disney World Fun!

2007-10-30T15:45:00.000-05:00

Things are extremely crazy right now! We got back around 9:30 pm last night (Monday). We managed to fly standby on an earlier flight. I took today off to recouperate, which didn't really feel much like recouperating! So today I have completed the following:
-uploaded the pics to snapfish to go pick up at Walgreems
-went to E's dr to pick up his prescription
-drop the prescription off at the pharmacy
-pick up our bags at the airport (arrived w/our originally scheduled flight)
-stopped off at home to start the laundry
-went by P's school to sign a field trip permission slip that had to be done TODAY
-went to Walgreens to pick up pics and medicine - medicine ready, pics never showed up at Walgreens
-went to grocery store
-came home and uploaded pics
-more laundry
-scheduled Mark & Kristy's rehersal dinner
-called Walgreens to confirmed that they had received the pics
-took a little break to play P's new game "Guitar Hero III - Legends of Rock", I'm getting pretty good at play Pat Benetar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"!

Finally blogging....actually E is going to be here in a few minutes and I have to get him off the bus. I will blog about our trip later - I still have to finish laundry, get dinner started, work on a project and study for a test.

I will leave you with a picture of the highlight of our trip. At MGM Studios they have a Star Wars show called "Jedi Training". They pick a handful of kids from the audience to be trained to be a Jedi and then fight Darth Vadar. P had his heart set on this. Kristy and I were praying they would pick him (and pointing a ton towards him from behind :) ). P was absolutely thrilled to be picked first. So below are some pics of my little Jedi....I plan to get these enlarged and hang them up with the Jedi Diploma he received!

Seeing RED!!!!!

2007-10-21T19:08:00.000-05:00

actually is more magenta than red. It started off today as I ate a pomegranite for the first time in several years. It was delicious, however, I was a bit rusty on my pomegranite harvesting skills so now my fingers are a magenta color, and there is a few drops of it on one of my favorite shirts too. Then I decided to finally finish my laundry. My last load was all my work clothes that I wash on delicate and dry with barely any heat. Somehow (either I was completely not paying attention or I simply didn't notice) a shirt that I had just purchased for all of $8 found it's way into the wash. Yes, the shirt was (and is) magenta. And now ALL of my work pants and MOST of my work shirts have a lovely magenta hue to them. What was once a very nice long sleeve white shirt now looks like a fresh-out-of-the-70's tye die. The advantage is that I did have a pair of black pants and shirt that you can't tell any difference. I also had two read shirts that just look a little more vivid.

I Love My Weekends

2007-10-21T14:22:00.000-05:00

This morning I did one of my favorite things. I sunk into the couch and covered up with my favorite tattered quilt. I closed my eyes and propped my feet up. You know that wonderful feeling you get when you rest your feet after they've been really sore? I felt the cool breeze of the fan hit my face and blow at the wisps of my hair. I smiled and let out a deep breath and sunk deeper into the couch. As I lay with my eyes closed, I hear the pitter-patter of little feet desperately trying to sneak up on me as quite as a mouse. You see, J loves to try to sneak up and scare me (or anyone for that matter). Just as he was about to let out his wonderfully high-pitched scream, I jump up and shout "Boo" and watch him scream and yell and laugh hysterically as he takes off running. And while I was only able to rest for about two minutes, seeing and hearing the end result completely refreshed me.

I love my weekends!

Getting Ready. . .

2007-10-20T14:22:00.000-05:00

Lots to do before we leave on Wednesday. I'm about halfway done with my school stuff and I finished up the last of my shopping this morning. At least I'm assuming it's the last of my shopping, once I start packing I'm sure I'll find that another trip to the store will be necessary.

I'm finding ti's hard to get stuff done, though, when the weather is so nice. I also keep hearing a bunch of airplanes. We're only a couple miles from Alliance and their having a big air show this weekend. I can look out my back window and see the planes flying around. Dad took P&J to the show this morning as part of a Boy Scouts outing for P. J loved it!

I'm getting antsy, I want to go play, but all-in-all it's a really good day!

You Gotta Watch This....

2007-10-17T09:38:00.000-05:00

This is perfect for the week I've been having. It's all the things that a mom says throughout the day condensed into a 2 minute song. You may have to listen to it a couple times to catch everything.

The Lord Provides

2007-10-08T15:37:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm eating bread and fish. Not literally, but figuratively. Most people don't know this, but my divorce was finalized on September 13th. I didn't post anything because I had a LOT of mixed feelings about it. Another reason why I didn't post is because I filed the end of August 2006 and since then, I have basically been functioning as if I were divorced.

I was talking with a friend earlier today about my situation. I know without a doubt that my divorce was not biblical. I know that God wants T & I to be married and serving Him together. But I also know that God gives each of us free choice. T has chose to go in a certain direction, just like I chose to divorce T. I will ultimately have to stand before the Lord and answer to Him for my divorce, I know that. But I would much rather answer to Him for my divorce than for other reasons that would have been a certainty had we stayed together. Nevertheless, the Lord provides.

He has provided for me and my children in very evident ways over the course of the last year (not to say that He didn't before then, it's just more evident now). For example, the first month or two after we seperated, I truly thought that there were bills I was forgetting to pay, simply because I had more money than I thought was possible. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it didn't. And today, he has multiplied loaves and fishes... things aren't horrible right now, but they are tight...especially because I'm getting ready to make my final payment to my attorney. I got $20 out of the ATM yesterday for weekly incidentals (school trips, lunches, spur of the moment things for the kids,etc). I usually get $60, but I thought it best not to this week. P&J are going somewhere with their friends this evening and then out to dinner, so I gave them the $20 I got, hoping nothing too major would come up. Well, I really needed some extra cash before I went to school this afternoon, so I was going to the ATM to get another $20 out, I looked in my wallet and there was $40 in there. I know that $40 wasn't there before, I KNOW it wasn't. But the Lord provides... there are countless examples of this that I could give. What is important for me to remember is to be thankful for God's grace, and the Lord provides!

Needing a Break

2007-10-05T18:15:00.000-05:00

As of Thursday at about 4:30p I had already put in a 38 hour work week and gone to classes/homwork/test/projects, etc. By about noon today I decided I was done. I hadn't had much time to spend with the kids and I just didn't really feel like working much more. So I finished up some last minute items and left. I decided to go pick J up early from preschool and take him to Sonic for ice cream, then get home so I could be there when the kids got home. This is a very rare treat for me. So I have had a lovely start to an almost 3 1/2 day weekend. Fortunately I have Monday off of work because of Columbus day, but I still have classes.

Sometimes, regardless of how busy you are, you just need to take a "mental health day". This afternoon was mine and I'm feeling better!

I got nothing...

2007-09-30T10:42:00.000-05:00

I know it's been nearly a week since I last blogged, but I got nothing. Don't know why, it's not like I haven't been doing anything. Just nothing that really seems blog-worthy, or stuff that I really would like to blog about, but I don't feel it would be appropriate. I really should be studying right now. I have my first test in my Intro to Emergency Managment class tomorrow and I really need to put some more work into my grant proposal for my grant writing class. By the way, I decided to write the grant for a local maternity home that is looking to start/continue some Life Skills classes and needs the additional/new material. One of the main things they want is some of the "real" babies that cry, eat, sleep, poop, etc and the director can download information after the girls have had the babies for a week or so and see if they neglected or harmed the babies at all. Pretty neat!

Ok, study time..

Happy Birthday...

2007-09-25T05:48:00.000-05:00

to the best 23 year old brother a sister could have! It is so neat to see your life unfolding before your eyes. I am so proud of you!

Then

Now

I Failed...

2007-09-22T11:47:00.000-05:00

actually my car did. The inspection that is. My check engine light has been on a while, but I haven't had any problems. So I can't get my new inspection sticker until I get a diagnostic done and clear the check engine light...assuming there are no other problems. The diagnostic is going to be $90! Ugh!

Happy Birthday...

2007-09-18T06:55:00.000-05:00

to the best 27 year old brother a sister could have! Thanks for being such a great brother and great uncle! Thanks for being you!

Is it possible to know too much?

2007-09-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

Just kidding, I know that it is not...and I know that I certainly don't know everything, but I know city government and I know city budgeting and I KNOW that my grad student teacher does not! I know this is a completely foreign language to a lot of people, but she is telling everyone that Council goes into private meetings to discuss the budget (this is ILLEGAL), that the budget and ad valorem tax rate ordinance are adopted as a single ordinance with a single motion ( the budget and tax rate require three seperate motions of which are quoted verbatum in state law)!

I'm doing my best not to correct her, but you can bet I will if I end up missing a question on a test. I guess this is the disadvantage of going back to school mid-career!

I'm just frustrated I have to pay for this cr*p!

Life (and time) Saver

2007-09-16T08:54:00.000-05:00

With having a special needs child like E, there are all sorts of things that you have to deal with that most people don't realize. Some big, some small, some time-consuming, some messy and not-so-fun. One thing that falls into the time-consuming and messy/not-so-fun category is getting E up in the morning. E is still in diapers, now that he is larger, he is wearing adult diapers. These usually fit pretty well, but not always. Regardless of how they fit though, my mornings tend to be a mess. They usually involve a full load of laundry (blanket, sheets, pjs, pillows, etc), washing the walls (I painted them with a high-gloss paint to make it easier), mopping the floor (I pulled out the carpet and put linoleum down since it's cheap in case he messes it up and it's easy to clean), cleaning the doors (sometimes) and cleaning the bed. My absolute least favorite has been cleaning the bed. We have tried to get waterproof mattress covers, but E doesn't like the texture so he just rips them off. So, nearly every morning, I have to scrape fun stuff off of the mattress, soak it with carpet/upholstery cleaner and scrub it. Depending on the mess it takes me anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes (I've even allowed time for it in my schedule). Until now....my mom got some heavy duty vinyl type fabric that is used for cushion covers on boats. Then they (mom & dad) bought E new mattresses and then mom completely incased both of them in this fabric. I can't tell you how wonderful it is! The last two mornings, I have been able to just throw everything in the washing machine and the mop both his floor and the bed. This is huge! So, thanks mom!

My Brain is on Strike!!!

2007-09-12T12:43:00.000-05:00

Along with the myraid of things I'm dealing with (see my previous post) I'm also basically taking on a second job. My boss has been out of the office on a medical leave for two weeks and I am expecting her to be out several more weeks. This is the busiest time of the year and I'm having to take over all of her job responsibilities while she's gone. It's times like these that I am thankful that I have some amazing co-workers that are very understanding. It's also times like these when I am very thankful for T, the kid's dad. Despite difficulties that we have had, he still is more than willing to help when I'm in a bind. He's been watching the kids on Monday evenings so I can go to school. He even came over last night to watch the kids so I could get in bed early, too bad we ended up watching Big Brother instead...Douh (Homer Simpson like..). I'm blogging now, because I've hit an absolute brick wall. You know those days when you have a billion things to do, but you just can't seem to get your brain to work because you don't really know where to begin? I'm hoping that venting will help, although it's not looking to good considering I've had to fix several typos since starting this post and I'm sure there is some that I have missed. I think I fixed about 8 in that last sentence! Well....that didn't really work...maybe I should go get massive amounts of caffeine!

It's Only Tuesday???

2007-09-11T16:21:00.001-05:00

I'm really tired...exhausted is more like it. I'm emotionally and physically drained and trying desperatelly to fight of bronchitis. There is just so much stuff going on right now! I feel if I could just sleep for like 18 hours I would be good to go. Maybe I can get the kids in bed a little early tonight....

Addicted

2007-09-07T11:46:00.000-05:00

I am completely addicted. Every couple minutes I do it. But it's great! And it's relatively cheap ($25/mo). So, what is it? An internet monitoring system. There are 3 cameras set up in J's classroom and I can watch him online whenever I want. I can see if and for how long he takes his nap. I can see if he ate his lunch. I can watch the teachers. I can see if he's making friends. I can see what toys he's playing with. It's really neat!

I've never been an overprotective mother, but I was still concerned about J going to daycare. This makes me feel so much better. He thinks it's kind of neat too. At least he did once he got over the initial thought of it.

On his first full day, I picked him up and said...."So I saw you ate lunch at the yellow table today. You didn't eat your vegetables though. Did you have fun playing with the legos over by the rug?" He just looked at me, astonished and asked how I knew that. I should have used my mom's old response "Because I have eyes in the back of my head and I pray that you will get caught every time you do something wrong." That made me scared to death to do anything, even when I was a teenager. I tested the limits a bit, and sure enough, she found out every single time! But I wasn't thinking that far ahead, I told him about the cameras and let him know I was watching because I loved to see him throughout the day and I wanted to make sure he was safe. He seemed to really like that.

So, maybe I am addicted and slightly crazy. But it makes me feel better so I don't care!

Need Help Finding a Worthy Cause...

2007-09-03T18:05:00.000-05:00

So for my grant writing class 85% of my grade comes from a grant proposal that I have to write. I didn't think that this was going to be difficult because I figured that I would be able submit a grant proposal for various police equipment to help the new department that was just started by the town I work for. Well it doesn't look like I will be able to use that idea. It appears that the proposal needs to be for a non-profit organization. And while government is non-profit, or at least it is supposed to be, it doesn't appear that it will meet my needs to get a good grade.

So I need help.... I need to find a non-profit organization that has a clear mission statement, a specific project that needs funding and somebody at that organization that would be willing to spend a little bit of time with me to give me the details of the above.

I'm supposed to turn in the basic information (organization, mission, group that it serves, etc) by Saturday.

All ideas welcome!

Long Weekends

2007-09-03T09:09:00.000-05:00

I'm enjoying my three-day weekend, which looks like it may turn into a four-day weekend. As I expected, J is running a fever after his first full week at preschool. I'm not too surprised seeing as how this is really his first time around kids his age. I'm glad that he's not too miserable, just wanting to rest and then play a bit when his medicine kicks in. But his fever was still a bit over 100 this morning so I expect to be staying home with him tomorrow.

All in all, this weekend has been pretty relaxing. And I feel as though I got a lot accomplished which I love! I managed to clean out my pantry. Somehow I found items that expired back in 2002! The scary part is that means I actually moved these expired items twice and they are older than J is! I also did some work in the yard. I had this tree that I HATE that I transplanted. This tree was put in the middle of our yard when we built it and has a bunch of mini branches that stick out everywhere that I get my hair stuck on when I'm trying to mow around it (not that I've been doing that a lot lately thanks to my wonderful father!). It's also just plain ugly, some people have said it is a youpon (sp?) some people have said it's an oak. I have a very hard time believing that it is an oak with how ugly it is. Anyways, I decided to replace it with a Chinese Pistache back in May, but I could not find one anywhere! Last weekend dad found one at the store and picked it up for me. So I decided to move the ugly tree to the corner of the yard by the driveway and plant the Chinese Pistache up front. I started this project and got fairly well along (the transplant hole dug out and a good portion of the ugly tree dug up) when I started getting pretty tired. Apparently my dear son P noticed this and told me he would help me finish. I told him thanks and he started working, he was getting tired too and I think he noticed that I had about had it. I hate digging in clay! So my dear son called his father and told him I needed help and asked him to come over and help me. So T came over and helped us finish up...it's a good thing too because I probably would have passed out when it came time to move the trees, they were pretty big. T even needed help from the neighbor to get them moved.

So I have a clean pantry, an extra tree and I don't have to look at the ugly tree everytime I walk out the front door!

Schedules...

2007-09-03T08:58:00.000-05:00

I live my life by schedules. For someone who was never really very organized, being a mom to three boys has certainly changed that! Here is a look what a typical day looks like:

Monday
5:55a Get E Up & Change
6:00a P&J Wake Up
6:05a Clean E Room/Bed
6:15a E Bath
6:25a E breakfast & med
6:30a P&J Breakfast
6:45a P&J Teeth/Hair/Face
6:49a E on Bus
6:50a P&J Dressed
6:55a P&J Shoes
7:00a P&J Pick up Room
7:05a P Leave for Bus
7:10a K&J Leave
3:18p P Off of Bus
3:30p K at School
4:10p E Off of Bus
5:20p T picks J up from school
5:30p T Over to Watch Kids
5:45p Kids Dinner
6:15p P Homework (table)
6:55p P Brush Teeth
7:00p P Bath/Shower
7:00p E bed
7:10p P pjs/laundry in wash
7:15p J brush teeth
7:15p P Read for 15 min
7:20p J bath
7:30p J pjs
7:35p J laundry in wash
7:45p Read to J 15 min
8:00p P&J in bed (tv's on)
8:30p P&J TV's Off
10:00p K Home

So Tired...

2007-08-31T09:56:00.000-05:00

E woke up at 4 am, somehow figured out how to get out of his room (we have a child proof door knob on the inside of the room and a hardware-mounted gate in his doorway), came into my room and turned on the TV and started watching his videos...with the volume all the way up! For those of you familiar with E you know what a disturbance this is, for those of you not...let me just say that once he is in there, I absolutely CAN NOT get him out under any circumstance! So I stayed in bed, covered my head with the pillow and got up about every ten minutes as he would hand me his milk cup to refill or food to open. So, I am tired!

I think I'm crazy too! There was an online grantwriting course that I really wanted to take this semester, but it was full. So I signed up for Intro to Emergency Managment and Financial Aspects of Government (taxation, budgeting, etc) because I needed six hours to get my student loans. Well, lo and behold, I check the course schedule last night and one spot opened up in the grant writing class. So guess what? I am now taking 9 hours.

Somehow I'm going to have to learn determination in moderation. But I doubt that will be any day soon!

You Know You're Getting Old When....

2007-08-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

You get extremely frustrated when your teacher lets you out of a 3 hour class after the first 20 minutes because nobody has the necessary books for the class because she failed to turn in her book request in time (actually she said the book store "lost" it)!

Maybe it just means that I'm so pissed off because I'm the one actually paying for classes and I want to get every bit of my $651 worth! So now, instead of sitting in a lecture hall actually learning something, I'm blogging until my next class starts in 2 hours!

Ugggggghhhhh!

E is Swimming!

2007-08-25T18:11:00.001-05:00

My mom has a lady that she works with that has been letting us use her pool for E. Every weekend that my parents take E, my parents take him over to play in the pool. I went this morning to take videos of E. This is after about 3 or 4 trips. He is doing amazingly well. I'm thinking about getting him involved in Special Olympics for swimming. He just loves it and is so happy!

Now For A Little Explanation...

2007-08-24T13:05:00.000-05:00

In regards to the previous post, I suppose it deserves some explanation. If anyone is curious about either of the diagnoses you can read about them on emedicine. It's my favorite medical website and is usually the most accurate, it's free to become a member and has great resources.

Aortic Valve Insufficiency - note that the description here is a bit more bleak than the doctor made it out to be

Tachycardia - The link talks about tachycardia in kids, but gives a good idea of what it is.

Several weeks ago I began having these "episodes" where it felt like my heart was beating so fast and intense that it was going to explode. The episodes would last only a few seconds and happened about once a week. Gradually they began to increase in their frequency. Under normal circumstances I would have blown it off, but my mom's side of the family has a history of major heart problems and then there is the heart problem that E was born with that is hereditary. I also had a very dear friend that I went to high school with pass away suddenly in May as a result of complications of an enlarged heart, a condition he never knew about. So I decided to go to the doctor. He set me up with a cardiologist so I could get an event monitor. Basically you wear the event monitor for 30 days and you record anything that you find abnormal. The machine always monitors you and records on it's own if it notices that there are problems. The machine holds up to three recordings, when it records you have to call a number (from a land line) and download the information to the monitoring company. Then a nurse comes on the phone and usually says "there is no immediate need to call the doctor" which is extremely comforting, let me tell you!

I had been doing good, I only had to records myself a couple times the first week and it self recorded a couple of times. Last weekend was particularly hard though, it seemed every time I turned around it was recording. It record seven times alone in a period of five hours on Sunday morning. So this continues until Wednesday, the day of my orientation/registration. It recorded twice as I was walking in (if it self-records it makes a loud beep once every minute until you download) so I decided just to take the machine off because there was no way I was going to have access to a land line for several hours and I didn't want it to keep beeping.

Well, about 10:30 in the morning I get a call from my cardiologists office. Apparently the monitoring company had notified the doctor because of concerns that arose out of the numerous recordings over the weekend. The nurse I talked to said that the cardiologist was concerned and wanted me in his office first thing in the morning to have a stress test. So I'm sitting in the middle of some college building in the middle of the North Texas campus, with my event monitor in my purse, on the verge of a complete meltdown. It's funny because I'm used to dealing with health problems with my kids, but not me. And my heart! Uggghh! So I call my mom and ask her if she would come with me in the morning, call my work to tell them I would be in late, clean myself up and head back in to orientation.

So mom and I went in to the doctor, I got to jump on one of those machines that has a belt on it that moves at some ungodly speed that you have to try to walk on, ummm, what's it called...oh yeah, a TREADMILL. Completely foreign concept to me! They also did an echocardiogram, basically a sonogram on your heart. At the end the nurse practioner said, "Well, the results of the stress test are normal, the doctor will be in shortly to discuss everything with you." So I was relieved, a little frustrated though, because I was wondering how I could have completely misjudged my episodes as problems and thinking that I was just completely out of shape!

So the doctor walks in, extremely nice man by the way (thanks Phyllis!) and continued to echo what the nurse practioner had said about the results of the stress test. Then he said that the information from the event monitor showed that I had a very high heart rate (tachycardia). Apparently, there had been several instances when I was at rest (on the couch, computer, asleep in bed) where my heart rate exceeded 170 beats per minute. He said that he was going to put me on beta-blockers to try to get it under control. Then he looked at the echocardiogram and told me that I had a "leaky aortic valve" (aortic valve insufficiency). Normal hearts pump all the blood out of the left ventricle to supply the lungs with oxygen, mine pumps blood out, but also allows some blood to flow back through the valve. The doctor said that on a scale of mild, moderate and severe, mine was moderate. Then he proceeded to say that there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it at this point. He said that eventually, when the damage progresses to severe I will have to undergo surgery to replace the valve. There is no indication as to when that will be, I guess it just depends on my body. The doctor did say that it shouldn't be for several years. Until then I will continue to see him every six months initially, and then annually. I'm also supposed to notify him if I start retaining fluid or have problems with dizziness...apparently, from my research, that means that I will have started going in to heart failure.

He did say that it was very uncommon in women my age and that it was probably a congenital defect that I was born with. I have since begged my brothers to get a check up, my mom also needs to, but I doubt that's going to happen. The interesting thing is that the two problems are unrelated to each other. The tacychardia will be relatively easy to deal with as long as I keep it under control with medicine, but if I had not had that problem, I would not have found out about the valve thing.

So that's the story of the last couple of days. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel. I have prided myself in my ability to "stay strong", so I'm having a hard time admitting to myself that I am actually scared. I know that it's the newness of things, but I feel like my heart is a time bomb just waiting to explode at any moment. I feel like I'm walking on pins and needles afraid to overexert myself, even though the doctor did say that I need to excercise to help improve the tachycardia. And no, the doctor did not say that any of this is due to my weight, but it does certainly make me want to fix a lot of things.

Please just pray for peace for me.

Aortic Valve Insufficiency & Tachycardia

2007-08-23T13:56:00.001-05:00

just diagnosed with both, apparently not related to each other. One I can take meds for, the other I cannot. Not to sure what to think right now, kind of in shock.

That's all I got...

Sibling Rivalry...

2007-08-21T18:33:00.000-05:00

it's driving me crazy. It seems I've tried everything, holding hands; time outs in their rooms; taking away video games; offering three compliments about the other sibling for each negative/sarcastic remark. IT'S NOT WORKING! I know there is no magic cure-all, but this is really driving me crazy. So I'm seeking out any pearls of wisdom any one out there has to offer that they use(d) or has been used on them.

Anyone?

J Goes to Preschool

2007-08-20T19:35:00.000-05:00

Today was J's first day at preschool/daycare. I was a little apprehensive because this was the first time that any of my kids have been to an actual daycare. I feel very fortunate that P & E never had to go, although P did go to a morning preschool class. J is now a little past 4, so one year of daycare won't hurt him and, with my current situation I have no choice. Initially I was really worried about how he was going to do, but soon it became clear that it was affecting me much more than it was affecting him, as is usual in situations such as these.

It's hard watching your baby turn into a boy. It sucks and it's exciting all at the same time!

P's Birthday Present

2007-08-20T19:34:00.001-05:00

Nine years ago yesterday, I went to the hospital to be induced at about 7 a.m. but I was already having contractions. My parents were going to meet us at the hospital later in the day and Tim's mom was driving down from Houston that morning. At about 9:30 I was dialated at a 3, by 10 a.m I was at 8. I called my mom and told her they needed to hurry, apparently they were still in the pj's cleaning house! The docs tried to give me an epidural, which resulted in only my legs being numbed. My parents got there right as I was starting to push and, at 11:35 a.m. P was born. Tim's mom got there as Tim was entering the waiting room giving everyone the good news. P was two weeks early, the docs wanted to induce me because they were afraid he was getting to big. Boy were they right! At 38 weeks he was 9 lbs 4 oz. Thank goodness he was me only son born au natural!

Enjoy watching P open his "big" present!

Disney World Here We Come...

2007-08-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

So I'm trying to plan for our Disney World vacation, only problem is that I've never been to Disney World, I've only been to Disney Land. So if there is anyone out there wanting to fill me in on what's hot and what's not I'd appreciate it. I've read different tour guide books and looked at several websites, but it's all becoming a blur. So if you have been to/heard of the best restaurants, rides, parks, etc. let me know! We plan on staying at the park in one of the budget hotels.

Please Let Me Be Pretentious For A Moment...

2007-08-12T18:15:00.001-05:00

Excuse me while a boast for a moment, but I am really proud of myself! As long as I've been employed with a local municipality I have been working on one certification or another. First it was my state certification which consisted of four courses each taking approximatley 50 hours to complete; eight seminars; and four exams. The second was my state court certification which consisted of 40 hours of seminars; homework; and a test. I am almost finished with my second level of my court certification. Now I have just completed my international certification (which is, generally speaking, harder to get than a bachelors). While there are a few people in my state that have the first two certifications, I believe I am the only one that has the state, court and international. These certifications are more sought after than a bachelor's degree in my line of work, and they come with initials too!
So I look really pretentious now!

Kristi G., 1234, 434**
1=T
2=R
3=M
4=C
**Note I used numbers instead of initials so that they wouldn't come up in an internet search. I really don't want my personal life brought into my professional life. If you are curious, just match the letters to the numbers.

Feeling Blessed...

2007-08-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about my family a lot lately and how truly fortunate I am. Sometimes I wish that we all lived closer to each other and had schedules that allowed regular family meals and times to catch up. Since that isn't the case, I will just have to be satified with reflecting on what wonderful people I have in my life:

My Mom - She is caring and compassionate. She is the only one that I talk to on a daily basis and the person I share all my ups and downs with. She has been completely supportive in everything I have done.

My Dad - He is the definition of altruistic (unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others), especially when it comes to my kids. He is generous and has always made me feel completely spoiled by his love and support.

My Brother Michael - I always remembering arguing with Michael growing up, then shortly after I graduated, we had this epiphany. I think it was then that we realized we both wanted a better relationship. I have always admired his devotion . . . to the Lord, to our family and especially to his wife. He is a very loyal person.

My Brother Mark - I actually never remember arguing with Mark (my parents may remember differently), maybe it's because I was a bit bossy and he always just did what I wanted. He has the best sense of humor out of everyone I know. He has grown into a very honorable man and I know he is going to make an absolutely wonderful husband to Kristy.

My Sister-in-Law Katie - She is a very kind person who truly cares about those around her. She is steadfast. She is considerate. She is the person that never forgets a birthday and always sends Thank you cards. I am so thankful to her for being such a loyal wife to my brother.

My Soon-to-Be SIL Kristy - Kristy has an absolutely amazing personality. She is enthustiastic and simply put...fun. I'm so glad that she will be joining our family, she will make the perfect addition and give us that extra boost of energy that has been slowly fading out of me. She is a virtuous woman. She must also be crazy as she has agreed to accompany Me, P & J on our trip to Disney World in October. There is not a doubt in my mind that she will make a wonderful wife to Mark.

What makes all of these people even better is their faithfulness to the Lord.

I am so blessed!

A Student Once Again...

2007-08-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I was just going to post that I didn't have anything interesting to post and be done with it. But, I forgot I had yet to blog about my newest adventure. On August 27th I will once again be a student! I applied in June to UNT in the hopes of eventually getting my bachelor's degree. I'm at a very frustrating point.... I have 79 hours with only about 47 to go. Too much to just let go, but still plenty left (at least plenty when you only plan on taking 3-6hrs a semester) that it still feels like a monumental task. I have been saying I was going to do it for the last five years, but kept thinking that I would never finish with how few classes I would be able to take. Then I started thinking that if I had enrolled five years ago I would be done by now. Ugh! So what's my major? Emergency Administration and Planning (EADP), with an ultimate goal to get a Master's in Public Administration.

After my first meeting with my advisor last week I left thinking two things: 1) I can't believe that my brothers, Michael and Mark will have finished much sooner than me (Michael graduated in '03 and is starting his Master's degree this fall and Mark is graduating in December); and 2) I am in absolutely no shape to be trekking across a campus again (at least I only have one class this semester).

After my first thought, I felt ashamed because it doesn't give my brothers any credit at all! Both of them are absolutely amazing, responsible men who did everything they were supposed to do ... on time and correctly. I'm the one that did things the "unconventional" way. Which I guess really isn't too unconventional any more.

Poor Attitude

2007-08-02T10:12:00.000-05:00

"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. "
-Charles Swindoll

I have had a very poor attitude about a particular area of my life the last several weeks. For a while I was enjoying my poor attitude and complaining. Now, I'm ready to have a good attitude about it, but I'm having difficulties.

Please pray for me!

Relaxing Weekend & Interesting Observations

2007-07-30T19:46:00.001-05:00

So our trip was lovely! We played miniature golf, went to the beach, ate wonderful food (especially Gaido's!), swam in the hotel pool, toured an off-shore oil rig, went to Col Bubbies (for those of you not familiar with Galveston, it is a HUGE army surplus store) and watched a couple cruise ships leave port. Of all of the above, P & J decided that swimming at the hotel pool at night was by far their favorite, go figure!

But what made this weekend so special was observing P and seeing what a great young man he is turning into. He is gregarious. He is compassionate. He is completly unbiased. He is the boy that comes over to play and spends more time talking to the parents...having real conversations, than playing with his friends. On Saturday night we were at the hotel pool. There was a family of 17, it appeared that four generations were represented. This family happened to be hispanic with the majority speaking only Spanish and a few speaking very broken English. They were all playing their own, made-up game. What did P do? He jumped right in and started playing with them. He was having a ball and after only a few minutes they were acting as if he was a part of their family. He was "talking" with the great-grandma, some teenage boys, other adults, the toddlers, all of them. Sunday morning we went to the beach and I asked them if they wanted to go to an area that was less crowded. What did P say? "No, mom. I want to go where there are lots of people so I can make a lot of friends." So we did. And he made several more friends. Mostly early teens to early twenties. Again, most of them didn't speak English. Somehow he figured out how to communicate with them, and he had a ball. Later that afternoon we went back to the hotel to swim in the pool. This time there were about 12 teenagers in the pool, all from an African American family. What did he do? Jumped right in and started playing with them. And then a boy about 12 came in who was extremely overweight. You could tell that he was very hesitant to get in the pool. What did P do? He went straight over to him and invited him to play and got him involved with the rest of the group.
Now when I call out the different races, please don't think that I am being racist. I am just showing you the beauty of my observations. P just has this uncanny ability to fit in with any person of any race, size, sex, age or ability. He has always been this way. In the beginning it was very unsettling because he knows no strangers. I am trying really hard to find a balance between protecting him and stifling his amazing gift. Right now I am putting it in God's hands, because I believe with all my heart that He has something truly special in store for P utilizing this exact gift. I am just so incredibly greatful that I will have the opportunity to sit back and observe!

Galveston Bound

2007-07-27T20:43:00.000-05:00

P, J & I are headed to Galveston in the morning. I'm excited, even though I'm not a huge beach fan, I absolutely LOVE Galveston! I love the sea air, the Strand, the historic parts and the food! They also have a really cool army surplus store and they actually have a road named "Avenue O 1/2" I tried taking all three boys on a spur-of-the-moment, less than 12 hours in the planning trip a couple of weeks ago. I had good intentions, but E loves the water so much that it became EXTREMELY difficult to get him out of the ocean or keep him away from the pool. It's hard enough to carry a 4'6", 120 lb boy, but once you add water, sun block and a lack of clothing you begin to feel like you are wrestling with an octopus that bites! To add to the craziness of the trip, we stopped at Walmart to pick up some beach toys once we arrived and P decided it would be cool to try to pop a wheelie with E in his wheelchair. The wheelchair, E & P ended up on the floor and the wheelchair was temporarily out of commission as it broke and I didn't have the proper tools to fix it!

So, my parents have graciously volunteered to watch E until Monday so that me and the other two can go have a more relaxed beach trip. I'm super excited because now that E won't be with us I can go to my absolute favorite restaurant of all time! GAIDO's. For those of you who have never been to Galveston, Gaido's alone makes the trip worth while. For those of you who have been, I sure hope you went to Gaido's. It's a bit pricey, but worth every penny! My favorite...the Shrimp Bisque....mmmmm.... my mouth is already starting to water! I can't wait!

Autism Shirts That I Would Love to Have!

2007-07-25T10:59:00.001-05:00

The pictures are probably going to show up funny, but they are as follows:

"I'm with neurotypical" (meaning "normal""
"If 1 in 150 American children were being kidnapped, we'd have a national emergency. We do. Autism"
"You call it an ear piercing scream, I call it my happy squeal!" I NEED THIS ONE!
"I heart my sons!"
"My communication skills are fine. It's not my fault you don't speak my language."
"If he was "cured" where would we be today?" I LOVE this one!
"Yes my son has autism. No, he's not like Rainman." Common misconception.
"Autism is not a tragedy. Ignorance is the tragedy."
"Not being able to speak is not the same as not having anything to say." This is one of my favorites!

I Had Two Dates This Weekend!

2007-07-22T19:07:00.000-05:00

and they were great! Just the kind of dates that I love.

Date #1

The first one was Saturday afternoon and involved a handsome young man with light brown hair and green eye. Date #1 enjoys the outdoors, sports and video games (what male doesn't?). He is very compassionate and feels things very deeply. He has a great sense of humor. Our date consisted of lunch at Snuffer's in Southlake and going to see Harry Potter. He is missing a few teeth, but he's perfectly handsome to me.

Date #2

The second date was Sunday afternoon. This young man (I have always preferred the younger men) has blue eyes and dark brown hair. He loves all forms of transportation (planes, trains and automobiles with a fancy for tires). He enjoys all kinds of animals and knows a great deal about them. He is very affectionate and loyal. He is sweet inside and out! He's a bit vertically challenged, but he's the perfect height for me! Our date consisted of a shopping trip and lunch.

How could I possibly choose between the two? Thank goodness I don't have to!

Date #1 is on top and Date #2 is on bottom

War Declared

2007-07-19T20:32:00.000-05:00

Press Release

For Immediate Release

War Declared in the G Household

Keller, TX - E.G. has launched an all out war against the mattresses in the G household. His weapon of choice...water. The likes of which puts Hurricane Katrina to shame!

The DoM (Dept of Mom) has released the following statistics on the E Water War:

Wounded: 4 (1 full size matteress w/ box spring and 1 queen size mattress w/ box spring)
KIA: Zero to date....(although reports from the field indicate the babysitter is in critical condition)
Amount of Water Used: Reports are fuzzy at the time of release, however, one eye witness was heard saying "There must be at least three gallons of water in the shop vac and the mattresses are still dripping wet!"

Strategies to defeat EG and win the Water War are still being formulated. The DoM is continuing the use of locks on all bathroom doors and ensuring that all containers that could transport the weapon of choice are kept out of reach.

Spending on the war is at an all time high. The majority of the costs are associated with clean-up efforts. It is reported that, on Thursday alone, 15 bath towels, 8 hand towels, 10 wash cloths, 2 tablecloths, 5 fitted sheets, 4 queen size blankets, 1 king size comforter and 1 king size bed skirt required laundering. Spending could go much higher if the wounded do not heal properly.

# # #

The author of the article regrets to inform the admiring public that she will be unavailable for interviews as her time is being split between guarding faucets and folding laundry.

Go ahead, call PETA, see if I care!

2007-07-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

So this morning started out as a typical morning. I was getting ready for work and E ready for school. P & J were taking the trash cans out to the street and all of the sudden they both came running in yelling "Mom, Pepper (our new cat and the first I've ever owned) caught a mouse and has it in her mouth!" The boys think this is great because this is the first time anything like this has happened. I'm not too freaked out, because I've learned that is what you get when you have 3 boys and we live in a fairly new subdivision where they are still building houses. Meaning the mouse probably came from one of the nearby fields and not my house, which is always a good thing!

I came out and examined the situation, told the kids to leave the cat alone and by no means get near the mouse (which is still alive) and start to head back to the house when P (my almost 9 year old) says..."Um, Mom.....I tried to take the mouse out of Pepper's mouth and I think it scratched me." Lovely! So I take a look at P's finger and there is blood dribbling out of it. The first thing I think of is to wash the heck out of it. So I take P in the house and scrub his finger with soap and water, clean it with some peroxide add some bactine to the mix and bandage it up. Now I have P cleaned up and I start thinking...mouse scratches can't be good, but at least it wasn't a bite. And then I wonder...is P sure it wasn't a bite....
Me: "P, come here please"
P: "Yes mom"
Me: "Are you sure that the mouse scratched you, or did he bite you?"
P: "Actually mom, I think he may have bit me."
Me: "Lovely"
By this time, the babysitter is here and she has more experience with cats. So her and I go to the backyard where Pepper is enjoying his new toy (still alive) and we manage to capture the new toy and put it in a series of plastic bags. The only thing that is going through my mind right now is the possiblity of rabies. I don't know anything about mice, I have no idea if they carry rabies. I do know that rabies boosters for kids are very painful, so in the off chance that mice do carry rabies, I wanted the mouse to be able to test so my child wouldn't have to go through the shots unless absolutely necessary.

In working with a city and dealing with the same issues as a go-between with the residents and our animal control guy, I know that you can only test an animal if you get to it within 4 hours after death. I don't know how long it will take me to get ahold of people, so I take the live mouse in the ziplock baggies (and a plastic container just in case he chewed through the baggies), put it on the front seat of my car and drive to work. On the way I call the animal control guy and leave a message relaying the whole story. I also decide to call the pediatrician's office when I remember it doesn' t open until 8:30 (at the time it was about 7:45). I get to work and bring in my little "package" which everyone thinks is lunch...imagine their surprise when I open it and show them! The majority of my coworkers were completely flabbergasted that I would be so cruel to the mouse and thought I was absolutely ridiculous for even contemplating keeping it to be tested! Oh well, that's why I'm the mom and they are not!

Good news, the animal control guy tells me....while all warm-blooded animals can carry rabies, it is extremely rare for mice, rats, squirrels, bunnies, etc., because they are so small they generally don't survive an attack by a rabid animal. Because of this, the health dept doesn't test these animals.

More good news, after talking to the pediatrician and having him refer to a couple of books (you would think this wouldn't be that rare of an occurance) he says to just continue to clean it and let him know if it turns pink/red, becomes swollen, etc. He did also mention that, even though they did not use the mouse, it was very good that I was able to catch it! I think the nurses also appreciated an interesting story for the day! Leave it to my kids to provide said story, kind of like the time J broke my nose (when he was only 2)!

So I suppose I am not the animal activist my co-workers think I should be. That's life, call PETA, sue me, whatever, at least you can't say I'm not a bad mom. Except for maybe the part about not telling P to play with wild animals!

Done Running Away

2007-07-15T21:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm out of my funk. I feel much better now and my house is a heck of a lot cleaner! Cleaning always seems to help put me in a better mood. Maybe it's because you can just clear your mind of everything and you have proof that you have accomplished something for the day. That is, until the little ones (who aren't so little anymore) follow behind you with their menagerie of toys! Now I'm off to bed because J looks so comfortable and I'm jealous! (It's hard to believe he is my littlest one!)

Run Away Day & the iPod Shuffle

2007-07-14T15:55:00.001-05:00

Before I get to the Run Away Day part of my post, I'm trying something my brother has done in the past. I will be posting the songs as they shuffle through my iPod during the course of this post (you'll get an idea of my taste in music).

Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Now on to the Run Away Day....
Have you ever just had one of those days where you want to run away? Or maybe just bury your head in a pillow and stay in bed all day? Well today is one of those days. It seems like they only happen the day after a really great day. Yesterday was my birthday and it was a pretty good day! It started off with my kiddos locking me in my bedroom while they set up a "surprise" in the

Rebel Yell - Billy Idol

dining room. The surprise was a chocolate cake with chocolate icing that my mom helped them make the day before and two gift bags. P was so excited about the cake. My wonderfully creative son placed four number candles on the cake (4, 8, 2 & 5 left over from past birthdays) and then 11 single candles. It being early and me still being groggy stated "wow, how pretty! You guys must of had to dig up old candles" to which P replied "MOM, they all add up to your age" what a bright son I have! Then I got to open my two beautiful presents (a watch and

Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top

a pendant/earrings set). Then I left to go to work where I arrived to a sign in front saying "Kristi's 30" and a desk covered in confetti with a big 30th Birthday banner taped to it and even decorations hanging from the ceiling. My coworkers promptly dressed me with my "30th" headband and neckless. We all enjoyed a birthday breakfast casserole that was absolutely delicious! Later in the day my dad had a dozen yellow roses delivered. My attorney and his legal assistant even remembered my birthday! A few of my coworkers decided to take me to a local restaurant/bar for drinks after work, little did I know

Wanted: Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi

that it would turn into a mini-surprise party! Nobody has ever managed to surprise me, so props to everyone involved (especially D)! I received some pretty creative presents, too. The classic 30 scratch off tickets (I only won $7), a box of 30 rocks (although there was more than $30 cash to go along with it), I photo collage of 30 other people who share my first and last name (turns out there is a professor and a murderer with my same name, who knew?) . One friend gave me a series of items 10 things to remind me to be spontaneous, 10 books to read and 10 items to relax when the kids are in bed. I also got a couple pots of very lovely flowers that I plan to decorate my house with!

Dude Looks Like a Lady - Aerosmith

My dad was kind enough to watch the kids for the evening and my mom helped coordinate the party. So it was a very good birthday and I am very fortunate.

Having said all that, I feel like running away today. Maybe it's the low that comes after a high. Maybe it's the fact that P&J seem to be arguing about everything lately ("it's raining outside" "no, it's not" "yes it is" "NO" "YES" slap - whack "MOM!" and tears and then me saying "Both of you here, NOW!").

How to Save a Life - The Fray

Maybe it's the fact that I have a 120+ pound seven year old infant that I can't control. Maybe it's the fact that I'm only days away from my divorce being finaled and I can't quite figure out how to feel (happy, sad, relieved, celebretory). Maybe it's the fact that the last 11 months have been some of the easiest of my life and I feel incredibly guilty about that. MAYBE IT'S ALL OF THAT!

Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve

Don't get my wrong, I am very greatful for everything and everyone that I have in my life. But I'm just having one of those "Blah" days. Okay, I've vented, I've listened to some music, I've given my kids up for adoption (just kidding)

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

and I'm feeling better! Now I suppose I should go clean my house, Fun!

Birthday Eve

2007-07-12T19:54:00.000-05:00

On this the eve of my 30th Birthday I have decided to publish my "40 Before 40" list. These are 40 things that I want to accomplish before I turn 40. Originally my goal was to have all 40 chosen by my 30th birthday, but I have decided to leave room to add things because 10 years is a long time! (And because I procrastinated a little bit!) So here is my list (in no particular order):

40 Before 40

Ride in a hot air ballon (I was supposed to ride in one with my friend Erin when I was in 1st grade and for some reason couldn't...I don't remember why, but ever since then I've wanted to ride in one.)
Finish college
Learn how to fold a fitted sheet.
Eat at a famous chef's restaurant (I'm thinking of maybe somebody from Food Network or Chef Ramsey)
Start a monthly "Family Dinner Nite" and stick to it (meaning extended family to the extent that they live in the DFW area)
Take a photography class
Read through the entire Bible
Go to Las Vegas
Make homemade pasta
Get a full body massage (the only reason I haven't done this yet is because I know I will enjoy it too much and I'm not going to pay for it on a regular basis!)
Get a will in place.
Get down to my pre-pregnancy weight (I'll fill you in on exactly what that is when I hit it, but I have a good ways to go!)
Start a ministry for parents of children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit
Take the kids (P & J) to Disney World (I've already made reservations for October!)
Learn how to make the perfect cheesecake.
Watch Gone With the Wind and Casablance (no, I have never seen either of these movies)
Pay off all my credit card debt
Go to New York
See a broadway show (tied in with #17)
See the Rockettes (tied in with #17)
Go to Italy
Drive Route 66
Ride a motorcycle
Learn how to golf
Go on a cruise
Catch a fish (I've gone fishing a few times and have yet to catch a fish)
Go to a drive-in movie
Learn how to make sushi
..... still thinking

So there it is so far, we'll see how I do.